Random Muses of Megret

update your links

2006-06-14T11:02:00.000-04:00

update your links.... site moved http://www.avclub.us/megret/

2006-06-13T14:25:00.000-04:00

"A saint realizes that it is God who engineers his circumstances; consequently there are no complaints, only unrestrained surrender to Jesus. Never try to make your experience a principle for others, but allow God to be as creative and original with others as He is with you."
- Oswald Chambers

Trying to tell me something? I think so.

2006-06-13T10:07:00.000-04:00

Ken, I think, has a tad bit of the spiritual gift of prophecy. Or maybe it's discernment. Either way, it's amazing me how on target he's been the past couple of weeks.

It all started with the hotel and bug incident (if you haven't heard about it, you can read about it here.....Ugh. I am still shuddering). It continued with a series of successive attempts of mine to calendar, plan, and contemplate perfect scenarios in my mind of how our afternoon/day/week will proceed. All gone wrong. All failed. All flopped.

I am a planner. That's not a fault....unless you're a person who has a tendency to carry it too far, one tweak in your agenda causing you to fly off the handle. Yep. That would be me.

If it hasn't been one thing, it's been another. Hastily cancelled plans due to others' schedules. A realization that no matter how hard I plan this upcoming birth, this one, just like Gardner's, may really throw me for a loop. A project started (more than once) only for me to realize that I'm missing a part or needed materials, and every store where I can find said part is closed for the night. And then, this morning.....plans for a day of errand running, hampered suddenly by one innocent toddler's new trick of taking off his diaper in his bed, causing a stack of wet sheets to pile up right in front of the door leading to the great big world of civilization and commerce.

"I think God's trying to tell you something, Meg," Ken has remarked to me more than once this week. "I think things like this will keep happening to make you slow down...make you realize that life can't always be 100% planned....that you need to let go."

You know how you used to hear your parents say things like this? Things you know are probably true, but you don't want to admit it because of pride or stupid self-righteousness? That feeling that hits you like a brick to the gut, reminding you that you aren't the wisest one on the planet? And far from it.

I'm sure he's right. I can sense God's gentle smile from behind Ken's muscular shoulder, His big hand patting both of our heads, His thunderous yet gentle laugh resounding "silently" throughout my mind and heart.

Ok, God. You've slowed me down. You've really got my attention. What do You want to show me today?

Issues

2006-06-12T09:34:00.000-04:00

Having issues with our HVAC today. Funny how I just attended a focus group on home thermostats, and then ours starts acting up. I hope it's just being obstinate and that it doesn't mean that an imminent major repair of our system is coming up soon.

I know that nobody 60 years ago had air conditioning in their homes, but I will still readily admit that I become a crybaby if I have reason to believe that mine will be taken from me....even momentarily! A self-centered and feeble attitude, of course. Ken throws his head back in laughter whenever I exclaim that I was born in the wrong decade. "I should've been born in the 20s," I say, marveling at the fashion or automobiles or music of the era. "You couldn't stand more than 24 hours in July," Ken might say, and he's probably right.

Maybe, though, just maybe....if I had been born into heat and cold extremes, and gradually learned to live in a drafty home or stuffy apartment building, my resistance to such extremes might be more healthy.

Here's to summer.....the lovely, hazy, lazy dog days of summer. I think I'll be enjoying them from within my 73-degree living room this year, instead of living large and roughing it. At least for the time being, I can blame my choice on pregnancy....for the next eight weeks, at least.

Perfect

2006-06-11T07:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, my cousin got married to a great girl.

Though it was a record-breaking 93 degrees outside, we still had a blast. Everything was perfect. Laid back, simple....just the way it ought to be. And all centered around a love ordained by Him.

View some photos of the event here.

Sacred

2006-06-08T09:01:00.000-04:00

We were a part of a sacred event at New Spring last night. Ken was ordained into the ministry. It was truly an honor and a privilege, as well as a realization of the awesome responsibility placed on him (on our family) as a result. I couldn't have been a prouder wife, sitting beside him and watching others lay hands on him, blessing him.

Read more about it on his blog.

Random act of kindness

2006-06-06T08:22:00.000-04:00

Our next door neighbor (who helped me graciously during my mini-crisis yesterday morning) came over last night and surprised us with a homemade blueberry crumble-topped pie and a half-gallon of Edy's vanilla ice cream.

Still warm from the oven and delicious, it was....but even more warming was the fact that there are still people out there who hospitably welcome you into the new neighborhood, genuinely and with all smiles.

Just a little smidgen that added to my cup of faith in mankind yesterday.

Makes me want to do the same for someone today.

What a weekend....whew.

2006-06-04T18:07:00.000-04:00

I am exhausted.

Not just a little bit tired. I mean, every single little iota of energy I had remaining just flew out the window as I climbed the staircase and perched myself at this computer this evening. What started out as a relaxed weekend ("We don't have to be anywhere....how nice....") turned into a Meg-imposed work-on-the-house-with-deadlines weekend. We got a lot done, but man, are we both tired.

I say Meg-imposed. Part of the hard work was spurred on by Ken's desires for our shrubs to be cut back. He borrowed an awesome Japanese-designed (complete with absolutely no American safety standard precautionary measures) gas-powered hedge trimmer and got to work. Five hours and a huge brush pile later, he's almost done. We have until tomorrow morning to finish the work and return the tool. He's gung-ho about doing just that.

I started in the kitchen, a room where I spend much of my time, a room which I've been dying to lighten up. And did I. I set to work with a gallon of Kilz II and white gloss paint, and I am transforming our kitchen cabinets. One wall of top shelves completely done, inside and out, and I plan to start on the bottom level tonight after G's asleep....that is, if I'm not asleep immediately after he is.

Love how weekends start off being relaxing....then you get this wild idea and vision of how you want your projects to come out, or how you want a room to look, and you break out the leaded coffee late into the night to squeeze in all the work you can....just so you can "see what the finished product will look like," even if you do still have to squint and use your imagination a little bit.

Oh, it's been tempting to squeeze out extra money from the piggy bank and pay someone to do this for us. It seemed like a really good idea yesterday as the paint fumes started to make my 7-month-pregnant self feel woozy and headachy. Yet all in all, we love the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of our hard labors, even if we have to view it from the couch, feet propped up and ice packs on our sore shoulders, barely able to lift our water bottles to our mouths.

Ahh...the joys of home ownership.

Not that long ago

2006-06-01T13:12:00.000-04:00

Whenever I surf the web, I'm amazed at how far it's all come in such a short amount of time.

I was one of the very first ones in my group of friends who "got online." In fact, in high school, Ken and I used to agree to meet on a certain BBS at a certain time on a certain evening....to "chat." Sure...we only lived ten minutes apart and could've just picked up the telephone and talked to the other person live...but typing messages and receiving messages back via a slow-as-Christmas black and amber screen was way cooler.

I had a computer with a monitor that was on the blink....or almost. Every few minutes, all of the pixels would gather into the center, making one long, vertical line. I'd literally whack the side of the unit with my open palm, scaring my family and pets every time, just to make the letters reappear. Yet somehow, I rarely lost my patience. I felt still that, despite my faulty tools, I was above the majority of America in my technological savviness, and I reveled in the fact that I could use such terms as "the world wide web" and "dataport" in everyday conversation. (Boy....what nerds we were.)

I remember my very first webpage....a three-fold space, a freely given page off of Geocities. I checked out HTML books from the library and programmed my page from behind. It took me the entire summer to finish, between my sophomore and junior years of high school. Tedious, yes. But it was always worth it when I got one of those little animated gif rabbits to wiggle his nose by the bulleted points of my page. Got excited over little things....

Today, I realize I'm light years behind as far as what I know about anything "web." I'm good at checking my online banking status, scouring ebay, posting to this blog, and keeping up with my gmail. That's about it. It came time to decide, once out of college, what things were really interesting to me, and which things were really worth my time learning about. Computers were not one of them. I'm so happy my husband wears the technology pants in this family.

It's amazing to think how much further things will evolve in the ten years, seeing as how much happened in the last ten.

This, plus my impending 10-year high school reunion, further ingrains in my mind how fast time really does travel. Makes me want to soak up every precious minute of every single day.

Mmmm...

2006-05-31T09:21:00.000-04:00

....So I think I found my new favorite restaurant last night. P.F. Chang's beckoned to me from the interstate last weekend, and I knew that was just the place to try when some girlfriends and I went out last night to dinner. Great atmosphere, excellent prices, and even better food.... it was well worth the 50-plus minute wait on a Tuesday night. (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt....their doors have only been open for a couple of weeks now, and I'm guessing they're still working out the "kinks.") Highly recommend it.

As I was driving along the backroads yesterday with a red-faced toddler in the backseat, I wondered where our "transition to summer" went. We went from 75-degree weather to 95-degree weather in less than three weeks, and my poor Jeep's air conditioning system just cannot keep up. I was able to get my hair trimmed of one heavy inch yesterday, and tomorrow, the same for Gardner. 'Tis the season.

I have lots of cleaning to do today, especially the picture frame glass in the study that I, while in a momentary state of pregnancy confusion, mistakenly "cleaned" with orange furniture polish instead of Windex. "Wonder why it's leaving so many streaks?" I mused. Orange bottle stared back at me and said, "You've got a lot of work to do, sweetie." Oh, I hope these memory lapses and periodic bouts of foolishness and clumsiness exit out when Rainey finally arrives. Please tell me it's not just because I'm knocking on the door of the gracious age of 30.

Lovely to come home two....well, almost

2006-05-30T08:58:00.000-04:00

Ken and I are home at last from our fabulous four-day getaway to Charleston. It was wonderful just to go with the flow. Try as I might, I just couldn't relinquish all of the control over our schedule or touristy pursuits....but I was better than I have been on previous trips. In fact, I even let myself nap when I wanted to nap....even if it was from 7-8 pm, only to go on to bed at 11 pm. Hey...it's vacation, right?

Ken has a few snapshot highlights of our trip here.

We came home to, however, a tirade of two devious felines who are, I'm convinced, intent on ruining our house and every piece of furniture within it. We've had these cats as 100% indoor cats for six years, but they are quickly wearing out their welcome. I, supreme cat lover (and every other breathing animal, for that matter) never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but....we are on the verge of kicking them out. They still have their claws. The only threat in the neighborhood is a harmless yellow lab down the road. And we have a garage which we could upfit to indulge their every whim. I have just had it with their scratching furniture, peeing on rugs, etc. Oh, have I. (And Ken has, too.)

I am seeking out advice on how to make this transition easier. I know others have done it, so I know it can be done. Looks like this summer we will be transitioning one wiggling toddler into his own (queen, no less) bed, as well as transitioning two very spoiled kitties into a life which probably doesn't suit their ideal tastes.

Should be interesting.

Little Shop of Helen

2006-05-23T15:11:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, or where the thought of you came from....but driving home today, I thought of you.

I remembered the three or four times I visited you, one time in particular when I was with my grandparents for a week the summer after I turned eight.

I don't remember your name, but I do remember that you were an intricate little shop that housed solely Christmas merchandise. Trinkets galore....sparkling silver teardrop ornaments, jolly red felt 60s Santas, glass icicles, silver tinsels and garlands, little flocked reindeer sitting in cotton "snow," elves that mechanically "decorated" lit trees in each snow-flecked store window.

I remember your creaky floors, the narrow, narrow staircase that led from one crowded floor to another. I remember the smell of Grandma's attic within your walls, and your quiet holiday music bursting forth from dusty speakers overhead.

Such a magical place. It is pure magic in and of itself to step into a Christmas wonderland on a 90-degree day in mid-July. To call it an escape would not do. It was a total immersion into a wintry wonderland, and I can still remember walking slowly, wide-eyed and admiring every spectacle which laid beyond each turn of the aisles.

I am sad that I cannot visit you anymore. On my last trip there, some local townspeople sadly told me that you had been destroyed in a fire years ago. We did find the spot which you once sat, but it now holds other things....candles or spun glass or something ordinary and uninteresting. The Christmas novelties were all burned away, and all that's left is the cement shell of your outer walls, housing within them something not nearly as spectacular.

I dwelt on thoughts of you as long as they would linger, and for a minute, even despite the sweat running off of my forehead on this hot May afternoon, I imagined the coolness and wintry delight of your environment once more. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, and I thanked God that He allows little memories to slip into our minds unaware. These little snippets of memories burst forth and bloom into complete relived moments within our imagination and mind's eye. These are just one of many things that make such ordinary days extraordinary.

This beats the long version

2006-05-22T14:38:00.000-04:00

In developmental and biological psychological class (whoa....seven years ago since I sat in those seats), we had to come up with genetic combinations. Long process....much like those eliminate-the-options puzzles that give you a headache.

But today I found this....a site with a calculator which will show you the likelihood that you and your mate's future children will have certain eye colors.

Amazing.

Looks like little Rainey has a 50% chance of having green eyes, 50% chance of having blue. So much for my hopes for a "brown eyed girl!"

Poor tree

2006-05-21T13:49:00.001-04:00

We lost one of our two huge Bradford Pear trees out front this weekend with all of the wind and storms we've had. As we surveyed the damage of the limb that fell (well, really, half of the entire tree split off), we realized there was nothing we could do but cut the entire thing down. Yesterday, that's just what Ken and his dad did. Sappy female and animal activist that I am, all I could think about was the fact that I hoped there were no baby birds hidden away in nests inside its branches. Forget about the fact that we lost a tree and the majority of our shade against the morning sun.... what about the birds?

I am not going to complain about the wind and rain, however. I am a lover of summer showers....there's something about a late afternoon thunderstorm that, if I'm at home, makes my whole surroundings seem cozier and warmer. I love explaining to little Gardner how God makes the rain fall, and how the clouds gather up and produce streaks of lightning which then causes the thunder to clap. He isn't afraid of thunder....thank goodnes....but rather, he marvels at the sound when it comes overhead....and he looks toward the windows, wide-eyed and inquisitive. So many teaching moments....

We are preparing for our vacation in a mere four days....we can't believe it's nearly here. This will truly be our first true vacation in three years. I am getting all giddy, summoning ice chests so I can fill them with treats such as CapriSuns and granola bars for the road. I am going to be one of those moms whose actions kids dread around vacation time, I guess.....harnessing and stringing along every activity book, magazine, game, and portable edible item, weighing the car down even further.

Well, now that I've sufficiently rambled enough for one afternoon, I will leave you.... The house is quiet...time to pull out that Real Simple magazine and pick up where I left off.

Break

2006-05-18T17:11:00.000-04:00

I have been taking a tiny break from blogging to spend time with Ken, who took two days off this week to be at home with Gardner and I. It was nice!

I have been busy cooking and cleaning today in preparation for a wedding shower we're throwing here tonight for my cousin and his soon-to-be bride. The house smells like pecan pie bars and Eucalyptus Spearmint aromatherapy linen spray. Mmmm.....

I laughed outloud today at a video linked from a friend's email....see for yourself how far dance has come since the 1950s.

Ken has a link to another funny clip from "The State," but to maintain my family-friendliness of my blog, I will refrain from linking to it. (It's not bad....it's just not good, either.) (Although, I highly recommend searching for "Bad Words" by "The State" on YouTube, as well. Probably my favorite.)

Meant to be good....but bad

2006-05-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

I was inspired by my experience with a "healthy mom snack bar" just now to make up a little list of foods which are supposed to be good (or at least good for you, so they say)....but are instead ideas which should've died on paper.

-- Fried Oreos. I mean, come on. Let's face it. You take a cookie already laden with trans-fats and then dip it into hot oil and fry it? As if that weren't bad enough, it's fried in oil which has also been frying turkey legs being sold alongside them at the county fair's food booth?
-- Those Philly Swirl push pops. I love Italian ices, and so we tried this next invention from the popular food maker. I mean, Ken and I seriously believe they froze up some ice but forgot to add the flavor packet in the last round.
-- Necco wafers. What are they trying to be? SweetTarts? In the words of Ken (forever etched in history): "This is what EVIL tastes like!"
-- Pennywort juice. No questions, please. These were in a gift basket from my uncle a few years back. I think he intended it to be a joke. The flavor of these little canned drinks was, however, not funny at all. (Here's a hilarious review of this beverage, if you're somehow curious.)

Anyone have any more to add?

Mom's Day

2006-05-15T08:09:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday. I know I did. It was all that I was hoping it'd be....fun, relaxing, filled with time with my own two cuties here at home, as well as extended family. Ken and Gardner treated me to brunch, as well. You can't have a day much more perfect than that....

Got to see my Grandma yesterday, who was celebrating her 54th Mother's Day this year. We also were able to meet our other future cousin-in-law....my cousin Jonathan returned from the mission field with his future fiancee at his side. How exciting!

Vacation is now only ten days away, and I am ecstatic. I don't think I've ever "needed" a vacation this badly before, except for, of course, after a heavy week of college exams (which, when I reflect back on it, wasn't as bad as I thought it was then). After Ken and I take this excursion, in a couple more weeks, we will bundle up Gardner and take him to see the beach for himself....for the first time. I can remember early trips to the beach myself, and I just can't wait to see how he reacts....whether he'll run away from the ocean in dismay, or run straight for it with unparalleled toddler-sized courage.

This coming Saturday, Ken and I will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. I chuckle when I think about where we dreamed six years ago that we'd be today.... Our original plan was to take a 2nd honeymoon to Paris for our 5th, and then to have our first baby in tote by our 6th. We jumped a little ahead of schedule, didn't we? And we bypassed Paris altogether.....(at least for now). Plans do change, even silly college-kid notions of how life should be. Yet I am still the richest gal on earth....I have an adoring husband, a lively little toddler, and a baby girl almost here.

I looked it up out of curiosity, and saw that 6th anniversary gifts are supposed to be wood....hm. Maybe Ken will get that German-crafted coo-koo clock he's always wanted.

Random things

2006-05-11T09:29:00.000-04:00

I give you a site that Ken immediately remembered from his childhood and pre-teen years (although back then it was only in paper catalog form): Things You Never Knew Existed.

In other news, did anyone catch all of the little revelations that exploded out of the plot lines of LOST last night!? OH, wow. I have to admit, though, I wish Ana Lucia hadn't bitten the dust. I know everybody else had intense hatred for her character, but I had a soft spot that she was slowly warming up to. I could see past her shell.

Looking forward to tonight's season finale of "The Office." Let me just say that sociologists sure had fun with this show, and by saying that, I'm assuming that probably 60% of the writing collaboration team have background in that science of sorts. There are just way too many stereotypes flying around. (Check out their site if you haven't already....some of the cast members have their own blogs.)

Got my first installments of "free gifts" in the mail yesterday. This sure is fun. Sure....my spam inbox has quadrupled in size lately, but so have the surprises lurking in my mailbox.

And in case you're wondering, my day got worlds better yesterday. So far, today proves the same. Sometimes we need to just realize that we've the ones who've shifted further apart from Christ....not the other way around.

Not much

2006-05-10T11:59:00.000-04:00

Not much to say today.

I'm kind of down today, so I'm actually going to be totally honest and say I've had a day full of plain old sulking. (Boy, doesn't that sound so grown-up?)

It's days like today when I feel like I need to run straight forward to any source of help....yet I am not sure in which direction to run. Of course, the first place I need to run to is Him. It's truly one of those days where I cry out, "God, I admit again, I simply cannot do it alone."

Operation: Clean House

2006-05-09T09:16:00.000-04:00

I am forcing myself to stay in today and clean our house. No, I mean, REALLY clean it. Not just piddle around and dust what's visible. It is in need of extra TLC. I even made Ken take our one car to work (the Jeep's in the shop getting A/C repairs) so I wouldn't be tempted to run errands instead of stay here and work.

In other news, Ken got home from the gym last night to see me engrossed in a movie called "Downfall." It is a recount (lasting 2-1/2 hours) of the last four days before Berlin fell.....in other words, Hitler's last days. Wonderful. I re-learn to speed read whenever I watch movies that are subtitled, but all in all, it was an incredible flick. If you're into that kind of stuff, I recommend it highly.

I am going now. The house isn't getting any cleaner by me sitting here at the keyboard.

I can't believe I did that

2006-05-08T08:53:00.000-04:00

So, Saturay night I had all of these lofty aspirations to sit down with a good book and read, gaining more knowledge (if any more will absorb into this pregnancy-affected cranium of mine). Ken was working late at the office to finish up some things for Sunday, so I was excited about taking advantage of the quietness of the house to get lost in a book. I had checked out a book on parenting from the library that had been beckoning to me all week....finally I could crack it open.

What ended up happening instead was this: I sat down with some leftover chocolate trifle and began to flip through the tv channels. "I'll just watch tv while I eat; then I'll turn it off." Bad idea. I'll know next time.

The tv ended up on an HBO Family showing of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." I passed it off as stupid, fake, teeny-bopper muck. Somehow, though, my tired, overworked brain actually got interested in this light little flick, and before I knew it, the phone rang, an hour later. "What are you watching?!" Ken asked, realizing pretty quickly that I was absorbed in something since I was hardly saying a word to him. "Oh, some silly preteen movie. I'm about to cut it off."

An hour later, I had a sickening realization as the credits rolled up the screen that it was now 11pm, I was exhausted, and yes, I had succombed to and watched the entire thing.

Somebody should've stopped me. Really. I gained no wise insight into life from this movie. I might have at age 13, but not now. I couldn't use the excuse that I was watching it so I could see if it was ok for my daughter to read/watch, simply because by the time she's 13, the movie will be on the down and out list. I simply got lazy and didn't turn the tv off when I should have.

Now I'm left with broken fragments of plot line in my head, making me wince whenever they resurface.

Sigh.

Maybe next Saturday night.

Lazy

2006-05-07T14:56:00.000-04:00

The Wilsons are having a lazy day today.

It's three o'clock, and my two men have been napping for two hours or more. I've been getting stuff done, but still taking it easy. The rain that pours outside our windows merits such lacadasical behavior.

I am itching to bake (it's what you do on days like today!....), but I will hold off due to the surplus of leftovers which grace our countertops and refrigerator shelves after a family reunion yesterday.

Not much else to say....

A day at home

2006-05-04T08:07:00.000-04:00

I have a living room with a chair full of library books, a forecasted 87-degree day and a Jeep with a broken A/C system, and a list a mile long of projects I've been neglecting.

I think it's a great stay-at-home day.

Still no news on arrangements for my Papa's funeral, etc. They are making the decisions this morning.

I am so tempted to feel badly because I did not go visit Papa one more time.

You know....when you've literally already made plans for a visit within the next two weeks, only to find you're still too late.

Another reminder that you should never, ever put off telling someone that you love them...that Jesus loves them. You never know when it might be the last time you see them on this earth.

Request

2006-05-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

I received a phone call this morning that I've been dreading.

My Papa Gravely (Dad's dad) lost his battle with cancer this morning.

Please keep my family in your prayers today. I really appreciate it.....

Make time

2006-05-03T09:44:00.000-04:00

I need to make time for three things that have recently gotten few and far between in my life:

1. Start a deeper personal Bible study, either topical or just focusing on one book. I crave a deeper understanding of Him....as well as thought-provoking questions to answer with pen and ink, to help what I learn to stick.
2. Get caught up on my scrapbooks. I am not a scrapper who does it just for social interaction with other scrappers....I use it as my outlet for artistic expression. Really. Just ask Ken. He alone knows that it can sometimes take up to an hour for me to complete one single page.
3. Read. I have lost the fine enjoyment of reading. I have left novels and even non-fiction titles in the dust, scrambling on busy days for time just to read snippets of articles in magazines. I miss the richness that reading brings into life.

I know that life is too short to forego things such as these in order to do other things which can be left alone for a while....such as hand-scrubbing the bathroom tile.

I need to take time....to take time out. Again.

Why do I always return to this realization?

High school sounds

2006-05-02T14:50:00.000-04:00

So, I received the long-awaited phone call from the secretary of our high school senior class, telling me the set dates for our 10-year reunion.

I knew this day would come.

Yes, and it will come less than two weeks after I give birth to our second baby. Crazy, I know, but yes....I'm still going.

This should be fun.

In honor of the mid 1990's (and to get myself psyched up for the occasion, though it is still over three months out), I have been listening to a variety of music from high school years. There's nothing like cruising down the road, toddler in tow, letting the obscure notes of "Cannonball" float around my head and out of my open Jeep windows.

Funny how music can take you back.

Thursday Thirteen

2006-04-27T11:03:00.000-04:00

There is a blogroll of people who take this thing seriously every Thursday, but I'm not sure I want to commit to that yet.

I do, however, have 13 things to share today....things that have been on my mind this morning.

THIRTEEN SIMPLE COMFORTS I LOVE

1. Waking up in the middle of the night to hear a pouring rain outside my windows. I feel so safe and cozy in my bed.

2. Walking outside to find temperatures much cooler and more appropriate for springtime than they've been lately.

3. The smell of a clean house combined with the scent from open windows, and on top of that, the feel of a breeze blowing through your home, waving the curtains with it.

4. The gumption to make up a batch of lemon cupcakes, and the satisfaction that comes two hours later as they sit, done, on the countertop.

5. The cute little spot on the back of Gardner's neck, a place I nuzzle into when I'm rocking him.
(Dad used to call it "our cute spot.)

6. The feeling of an ice cold Coca-Cola going down on a hot summer day. Ahhh....

7. Being able to let down the windows in your car as you drive along a shady two-lane road this time of year. Not caring what your hair will look like when you reach your destination.

8. The smell of coffee first thing in the morning, its fragrance traveling through the air to your droopy eyelids, its flavor making you smile.

9. The thrill of realizing that you've saved over $20 in one trip to the grocery store just because of the time you took out to cut out coupons that week.

10. Being able to share with others....anything....without expecting something in return.

11. The way your house looks as you approach it in the evenings, dimly lit and inviting.

12. Getting a bouquet of flowers from your husband on a day that was good, not bad...in other words, for no reason at all except to show you he loves you.

13. The safety you feel (and you know they feel) as you tuck your child in at night and turn out the lights. The realization that you have it all....you really do. I know I do.

(Thank You, God, for life's simple pleasures!!)

Whether the weather....

2006-04-26T10:43:00.000-04:00

The weatherman really messed up the forecast for today. Yesterday at lunchtime, he said today would be cool (as in 60 degrees) and drizzly all day long. It's only partly cloudy, and they're now expecting temps to rise up to 74. Storms and rain won't arrive until later tonight.

Funny how quickly weather patterns can shift. There is just no forecasting it sometimes, and weathermen are, after all, human like the rest of us are.

I have been reminded so much recently of my humanity....my inability to measure up in any shape or form. I have ideals in my head, but when it comes to putting them into practice, sometimes they die on the way from the brain to my fingers. Frustrating.

I didn't get mad at the weatherman today, even though I completely rearranged my schedule for the rest of this week in order to be able to stay in today out of the mess. Instead, I remembered that he's human, and there are some things which he just cannot do. I expect him to give me an accurate forecast most days, that's true....but when he doesn't always deliver, I don't turn away from watching him altogether and give up on his abilities.

Thank goodness God's like that with us. I don't know what we'd do without a loving Father who, though He expects so much, remembers that we are human, too.

This is by no means tells us that we don't have to pursue Godliness. It is just reassurance that in our daily pursuit of it, God remains merciful....and mindful.

^"GOD is sheer mercy and grace;

not easily angered, he's rich in love.

He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,

nor hold grudges forever.

He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,

nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.

As high as heaven is over the earth,

so strong is his love to those who fear him.

And as far as sunrise is from sunset,

he has separated us from our sins.

As parents feel for their children,

GOD feels for those who fear him.

He knows us inside and out,

keeps in mind that we're made of mud."

(Psalm 103:8-14, MSG)

Tuesday

2006-04-25T10:34:00.000-04:00

I love Tuesdays.

I remember almost every Tuesday the lyrics and the tune of a Sarah Masen CD I listened to in college. I was trying to get into playing guitar back then, and Ken (we were only about 2 months into dating) made a notebook with all of her songs, guitar-tabbed for my learning enjoyment.

Tuesdays are always busy days. I have fun, yes, but I stay busy. It's usually the day I prepare and/or freeze all of the food I've bought the day before at the grocery store....but today, I went this morning, so I had that as an earlier start to my day. It is also house-cleaning day. I also try to run any errands I need to run on Tuesdays. To top it off, I prepare our home (and usually some sort of dish) for our home group that meets here on Tuesday evenings.

I tend to get caught up and bogged down in all of the tasks at hand. I have to remember to rest, too, in between my fits of frenzied cleaning and such. There are blue skies, birds singing, Gardner's sweet little questioning voice, and opportunities to bless others in every single day, Tuesdays included, and I can't pass those by in order to make the checklist look completed.

"tuesday after a reckless and used day
i was running and running without a chance
to stop and chat at the sky

finally i stopped for a breath in the evening
suddenly. i was caught by the scenery
painting a picture of You

day set, scatters of clouds in the distance
they whitewash the backdrop of secrets
whispering shadows of blue
in more delicate hues..." ("Tuesday" - Sarah Masen, off of her self-titled album, 1996)

GOD, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of GOD
for the rest of my life."
(PSALM 23:1-3, 6)

Movie stuff

2006-04-23T22:02:00.003-04:00

Ken and I are currently sitting in the den enjoying "The Chronicles of Narnia." Well made film, I must say. We can't believe, either of us, how closely the landscape mimics what we pictured in our minds as we read the novels so long ago.

I also realized tonight that Disney is finally releasing "The Little Mermaid" in DVD form this October. I am not afraid to admit that it is my favorite of them all.

That, plus, Ken informed me tonight (via one of his design magazine portals) that Disney is currently working on putting up a cable channel dedicated to nostalgic Disney at its finest. Who knows what that will entail, but anything that uses "nostalgic" in its description has my vote.

And speaking of well-made films....anyone heard on when M. Night Shyamalan is due another flick out in the theaters? It's time, I'd say.

Stress

2006-04-20T15:28:00.000-04:00

Rather stressful day today.

I thought that when I left the 40-hour-per-week workforce that my stress load would dramatically decrease, or maybe even fade away out of total existence.

Wrong.

Trying not to get overwhelmed.

Hoping this coffee I just drank will help spur me along instead of making me even more jittery and flighty.

Counting the minutes until I can call it a day, and let Calgon take me away.

That's all.

Stormy skies

2006-04-19T12:38:00.000-04:00

Our first real stormy day of springtime. I am loving it. I ran all my errands yesterday so I could sit inside and meddle around today. It's nice.

The cats are having a difficult time dealing. Ajala could be found earlier hiding behind the tail of one of the dining room drapes. Odyssey has found a receipt I put aside to keep and ripped it to shreds. Funny how animals get frantic when the weather changes.

I am making a list of all of the things I want for baby....since it is a girl, there are things which must be added to the assortment, such as a frilly moses basket. This is going to be oh-so-much fun.

I'm off to start some housework while Gardner naps. Good day for napping; he has the right idea. Maybe I'll follow suit. Nah, I've got way too much to do.

Why....

2006-04-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

...Why does it take females (or most of them, if they're anything like me) days and days to pick out one single thing?

Something made of paper that will be looked at for a month, then tossed away and forgotten?

Why do cards always have to reflect exactly the personalities of those who we intend to receive them?

Why must I always be so incredibly hard to please, and so incredibly detailed?

And why, oh why, do I insist on getting the one thing I had pictured in my mind's eye, and nothing else?

I should know that the only way I'll get exactly what I'm searching for is to walk into a shop carrying items that are designed by none other than me, myself and I.

Oh, it's hard being a girl sometimes.

Or maybe it's just hard being.....well, me.

Good stuff

2006-04-16T11:52:00.000-04:00

How easy it is to be lazy. It requires no effort whatsoever. We revel in the moments when all seems easygoing, and we wish life were like that everyday. It isn't. There are hard times. There is hard work that must be done. We can take our restful days and apply the strength we gain within them to the upcoming harder days ahead.

It's so easy to make excuses as to why we should be lazy. "I'm too tired." "I didn't get enough sleep last night." "It's too hot." "I'm pregnant...I have no energy." (Can you tell I'm writing from the heart here?)

Read this today. Good stuff.

"If, during a prayer meeting, God shows you something to do, don’t say, 'I’ll do it'— just do it! Pick yourself up by the back of the neck and shake off your fleshly laziness. Laziness can always be seen in our cravings for a mountaintop experience; all we talk about is our planning for our time on the mountain. We must learn to live in the ordinary 'gray' day according to what we saw on the mountain."
- Oswald Chambers

Thanks, Lord, for this today. I needed to hear it.

Happy Easter (almost)

2006-04-14T20:11:00.000-04:00

Easter slipped up on me this year. All of a sudden, I realize that the Easter stuff is going on sale at the stores. "But when is Easter....?" I wonder. Then I remember that it's in TWO days. Oh, wow. Thank goodness I didn't have to make any purchases this year. I decided against a pinstripe suit (or other dressy outfit) for Gardner this year. He had that last year, when it was okay to be a boy and be decked out in pastels (AND a velveteen cap with long bunny ears sewn into the hem)...but not this year. A simple short set will be just fine, and my pocketbook's very thankful.

I didn't even plan an Easter party, although I was itching to. I get to enjoy two visits on Sunday with both sides of our families, and that is more than enough. Time with family's more important than party planning, anyway.

I remember Easters past. The year Mom handmade our dresses...mine, hers, and my doll Pammy's. The many years I spent sneaking Easter candy in the back row of Daddy's church while he preached. I got away with it until my friend Meredith shared some of her candy cigarettes, and one of the deacons spotted the sugary "smoke" rising up towards the balcony. Oops.

I remember the egg hunts, of Emily and I racing to get to the ones we spotted, although I upheld my duty as big sister by letting her grab most of them first. I remember Dad's insanely camoflauged eggs which he secretly hid, and I do mean camoflauged (he literally painted them in camo using oil paints). Some of those, I am convinced are still there, slowly eroding away beneath the bushes in our Louisiana backyard.

I remember the way sponge rollers felt as I tried to go to sleep on Saturday nights, wondering why in the world my hair had to be curly for church the next morning when it cost me such valued sleep. (What we women do for beauty!) I remember Easter bonnets....Easter cookies.... a basket full of Peeps, marshmallow-choco bunnies, and sunflower seeds (a staple in Gravely baskets).

What I like to remember even more are the meaningful things....the carrying in of palm leaves with my friends, laying them at the front of the church, triumphant music in our ears. The vision of crosses on churches everywhere, draped with a purple cloth (and then later a shimmering white). The lyrics and beautiful, melodic stanzas of "Via de la Rosa" ingrained tightly in my memory. The indescribable way that "The Passion" brought to life the agony and the sacrifice of my Savior for my sake....it wasn't just a story. It was real. It happened. He loves me that much....

I see my son, before me every day, and I realize how much I love him. I love him enough to, yes, even give up my own life for him. Jesus loves us that much, too.

Again, something that became even more vibrantly alive to me once I became a parent.

I just love how God keeps revealing Himself in new and wonderful ways.

Spyware

2006-04-12T14:12:00.000-04:00

Ken's been onto me lately about all of the hunting I've done online for free stuff.

I'm not usually a scavenger for free deals, but for some reason, I go through spells where I really want bizarre refrigerator magnets and gaudy baby bibs to arrive for me, free of charge.

What really annoys Ken, though, is the amount of spyware that ends up on our computer after said searches.

I've assured him that I run SpyBot after each and every mission, but still, he's not convinced.

Maybe once I get that ultra-sonic lightsaber grilling meat fork* in the mailbox, he'll change his mind.

Maybe not.

(*Ken, there is no ultra-sonic lightsaber grilling meat fork. I just said that in hopes that it might spark you to exude a bit of excitement for these endeavors, be it ever short-lived.)

Caution: Fragile

2006-04-11T12:56:00.000-04:00

Somebody needs to keep me away from glass objects.

Yesterday morning, my dear husband was late to work because I effectively handled a vase of flowers in a haphazard manner, resulting in a shatter, a huge shard of glass into my index finger (of my right hand, no less). I am almost convinced that it needed stitches, but I didn't have time for that. Instead, I bandaged it very tightly and went on my way. It hurts like the dickens, but I know it will heal.

This morning, as I was attempting to clean Gardner's humidifier in the bathtub, the glass soap dispenser I use (actually a vinegar bottle) overturned, and it broke into a million pieces. I spent the next 20 minutes washing out dish soap AND nuggets of glass....hope I got it all. Don't want to let Gardner step into that tub for a bath until I'm absolutely sure, which means combing it carefully with my hand (you can't see it with the naked eye), probably resulting in even more miniscule cuts on my already-sore appendage.

As I told a friend yesterday, pregnancy has a way of making you clumsy AND stupid. I knew better than to grab a vase full of water by the top, a VERY thin vase (1/100th of an inch thick) at that...but I did it anyway, while at the same time attempting to make a cell phone call with my other hand. Tsk tsk tsk....

So, somebody keep me from glass objects. If you see me walking towards a closed patio door, warn me. If you offer me a soda, please pour it into a plastic cup.

Nifty

2006-04-10T15:52:00.000-04:00

For anyone who needs a gift idea for yours truly in the coming months, this would make me giggle with glee.

So it's oak

2006-04-09T17:50:00.000-04:00

I have had allergies since early adolescence. I never knew what caused them to start up, but all I knew was that come late March and all through April, I was miserable every year. I also had trouble later on in October. I never had any of those tedious, pseudo-painful tests done to see exactly which things sent my histamines roaring. I thought I might narrow it down, and I think I have.

After a particularly ugly two or three weeks (complete with bloody nose each morning, and stuffy nose each night), I began to do my research online. What, exactly, is blooming right now in my region? I checked, and ah-ha.....the pollen count percentage is overwhelming from that of the mighty oak tree. Hm.

Such a grandiose tree, beautiful and shady, strong and magnificent. Yet the gorgeous limbed structure causes me grief each and every year, causing me to always re-think whether spring really IS my favorite season.

So much for prescription remedies. I was slightly burned by the whole Seldane incident, having taken it throughout high school only to find out in college that it had been recalled due to wrongful death lawsuits among hundreds of individuals. Yikes. That makes someone like me leery even to reach for the plain old, syrupy Benadryl.

I am forced to deal with what comes to me (and my nose and my eyes) each new spring season, praying that the pollen count won't last beyond the warmest, gentlest days so that I may enjoy the great outdoors....at least some of the time. Though some days I might feel like a prisoner in my own insulated, air-conditioned home, I at least have the joy of window shopping, viewing God's newly sprung creation through panes of glass.

I am not going to complain. If seasonal allergies are the worst of the thorns in my flesh, I have absolutely nothing about which to gripe. I think of it as another opportunity to sit inside and relish in that dusty book that's been calling to me from the top shelf....

Sweet

2006-04-07T07:49:00.001-04:00

Thanks to my wonderful husband, Ken, for the sweet new look of the blogs I update. Me likey. A LOT.

Had many bizarre dreams which kept me from sleeping a full 9 hours as planned, but I can't complain. Whenever one has a dream about getting into a 1980s-built hovering spacecraft and taking off into outer space (and also through the boundaries of time), one shouldn't complain too much.

We're off in just a few to take Gardner to his 18-month checkup with Dr. Treash. Hate to, but we'll probably have to wake the little guy up. We had such a fun day yesterday, it was close to 9pm before we heard him finally stop singing in his crib.....

There's nothing like it....

2006-04-06T15:22:00.000-04:00

....having the windows all open on a warm spring day, waking up to chilly temps in the early morning, hearing those wonderful song birds at the first sign of daylight. Even now, the breeze is wafting through my hallway and down the stairs, carrying with it the smell of freshly-cut grass (our neighbor has been busy today).

It's so gorgeous that I've convinced Ken to pick us up after work and take us on a picnic somewhere, to let us stretch our legs and enjoy this day of sunshine before storms threaten to overtake us tomorrow.

(And thanks to everyone who prayed for my recovery. I am feeling better, and Ken and G are still in the clear.)

(Stole this off of another blog, but I LOVE it, and it sums up today perfectly:)

I meant to do my work to-day -
But a brown bird sang in the apple-tree
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.

And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand -
So what could I do but laugh and go?

~Richard Le Gallienne

Ugh....

2006-04-05T18:10:00.000-04:00

I have been laying on my couch since 1:30 am due to a sudden and surprise visit by the stomach flu. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'd rather have the Beijing flu for an entire week than one of these things for 24 hours. It was a mild case, thank goodness, and I'm pulling out of it slowly...just a lingering low-grade fever making me feel achified. Thank the Lord, too, that Ken and Gardner still remain healthy. I pray they will continue to.

So, my eyes hurt...no more computer for me this evening. I hope I can stay awake long enough to catch the new, thrilling episode of "Lost."

Welcome

2006-04-04T07:40:00.000-04:00

Ken and I both discovered (after marriage, incidently) that hospitality is one of our top spiritual gifts. We threw ourselves head-first into the hospitality ministry at New Spring, only to find ourselves physically burnt out within one year. Maybe the idea was a positive one, but the avenue wasn't quite the right one....

So we have recently made the focus of our hospitality efforts our own home. We host a home group here, and we thrive on the thrill of inviting over and sharing dinner with friends (and those we just want to get to know, or even just to make someone's week). I like to think that our home is a portal for the weary, a place where lonely college students or even just really busy families can come and unwind for a bit.

God gave us this wonderful new home, and I am still speechless at how all of the details brought us here. It wasn't long before I felt the tug, tug, tug at my heart to open it up to others. God has shown me this week a couple of new opportunities in which to put my hospitality to use, made easier by a home that now accommodates a tad bigger group of people than our last. "I gave it to you....now, use it for My glory," He whispers. What else can I say but, "Yes, Lord!"?

Our prayer is simple yet complete....for God to help us to reflect our gratefulness and thankfulness for His blessing of a home by sharing it openly with those we love (and even the unloved). It is a huge sacrifice, but a necessary one for Ken and I. Nothing brings me more joy.

"Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you....We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth." (3 John 1:5, 8, MSG)

^"Be ready with a meal or a bed when it's needed. Why, some have extended hospitality to angels without ever knowing it!" (Hebrews 13:2, MSG....what a mindblowing concept!!)

Jubilee

2006-04-03T09:47:00.000-04:00

There's nothing quite like going to a local town's "Spring Jubilee" when the first of warm weather arrives.

Yesterday, some we and some friends took a short trek to Pendleton to visit their annual Jubilee. I have been going to this festival since I was a tot, and now for the first time, I let Gardner experience it for himself.

Temperatures hovering near 80, sunny skies, breezy winds, a wide array of sights and sounds to enjoy, and a cup of cold ice cream....what better way to spend a Sunday?

See pictures here.

Funny....but not

2006-03-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

The newest movie is out from the folks who brought you "The Meatrix." Watch "The Meatrix 2: Revolting."

2006-03-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

I am just sitting here, waiting for my little son to awaken from his LONG night's slumber (he went to bed at 7:30....it's now 9:00, and he's still out!). What?! I am grateful for such a good sleeper. At first, it was great....I had time to do little piddly things around the house without having to stop. Now, though, I'm ready for his companionship and ready to play.

My cats are happily perched beside two different windows, watching the black birds peck at food in the wet grass. They have been on cloud nine this week, happy to have stairs to run up and down, happy to have a private room for their food and other needs (instead of just a tiny utility closet).

Ken and I had a wide agenda of things to accomplish after putting Gardner to bed last night, but what happened? A wave of exhaustion hit us both and we both lay on the couch, blubbering and snoozing off and on until "Lost" aired, and then even during that show, we had to prop open our eyes to stay awake. What hit us? Our far-fetched plans to finish stripping the dining room walls and put our bed rails together quickly turned to mush. It was a night to veg, and we did. (Although we were too tired to even enjoy vegging....all we wanted was deep sleep. Ever been there?)

I'm awake after 8 hours of sleep, after a bizarre dream about me and some friends visiting Copenhagen (thanks to a subconscious pulling from a snippet of "The Daily Show"), ending with me foolishly wearing briefcases on my feet instead of shoes because "that was the Danish way." Don't ask.

So that's my randomness for today. Enjoy your Thursday.

Blog snafu

2006-03-29T09:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of links at the top of my blog lately. Turns out those images were hosted on our old cable account, and when we moved, that account was tossed. Ken's going to be working on restoring that soon. I'm sure he'd rather take this as an opportunity to update my blog design anyway. He's that way.

In the meantime, I put the other blogs I write on with the other links in the left margin.

In other news, Target's got one mad clearance sale wrapping up right now. I stocked up on 77-cent rolls of gift wrap this weekend. Go check it out.

Bye for now....on to paint more trim white. (I am starting to dream about painting now.)

Nice things

2006-03-26T19:44:00.000-05:00

I went to a shower held for my cousin and his fiancee this afternoon, taking a break from the wallpaper "festivities" to relax a bit. Seeing the tables lined up with brand new things, shiny and still in boxes, took me back six years ago (six!) to when Ken and I were doing the same thing. Funny how six years can fly by. Funny how those towels can be so pristine and white back then, but then in less than ten years' time, they're already worn and ragged! (Maybe we are just rough on our towels, I don't know.)

Reminded me again how fast time zips by us. Also reminded me of all of the nice things we received as wedding gifts years ago that I unearthed amid all of our packing of our old house. Hm. Maybe I will find a use for those crystal goblets. Or that pot rack. Funny how you start out with absolutely nothing and soon end up with an attic full of items you haven't even had time to use.

I plan to resurrect some of those items and put them to good use. One of my late resolutions for the year, I suppose. It's a shame to be blessed with so many wonderful gifts and only pay attention to 1/5th of them on a daily basis. I need to be more diligent about appreciating what I have....instead of making lists of what I still want.

Still here....barely

2006-03-25T12:42:00.000-05:00

We're officially in the new house, but we've been incredibly busy trying to paint every room (yes, every room) and remove wallpaper, clean and such, etc. that the computer has been the farthest thing from my mind. Nevermind the fact that the internet lines have been hooked up since Tuesday night....and it's already Saturday and I'm just now writing. But still. There's so much to do.

So much still left to do, in fact, that it's completely overwhelming. I am so exhausted I can't see straight, and I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever see this house come to completion! No...really, I am still on the adrenaline rush that comes with getting a new place, and I'm hanging in there. My husband has taken over the reins and is forcing me to rest, which I won't do unless told. We're really enjoying this new venture.

Amazing before and after photos (hopefully) to come soon for your viewing pleasure. It's amazing what a few cans of paint can do.

Update....I'm still here!

2006-03-19T14:52:00.000-05:00

We're still up and connected at the old house, but not for long. Tonight, we hope to spend the night in our new abode, even though it is NOwhere near finished, and even though our old house is NOwhere near empty yet. This is ganging up on us fast. Me and my realistic self don't see how it will all get done. Add the complicating factor of forecasted rain starting tonight through Tuesday morning, and you get the bigger picture. Trying not to stress....

I will write again soon, once we're up and running once again. We've been promised cable modem accessibility by Tuesday PM, so we'll see.

Ta-ta...

Conviction

2006-03-15T08:57:00.002-05:00

I searched for something to read this morning in my quiet time about stress relief/overcoming stress. What I searched for were words of sweet comfort....what I found was something entirely different. Yet, it was what I needed to hear. I'm an adult, and I'm old enough to hear what needs to be said when I'm wrong.

To top it all off, last night at home group, we watched the NOOMA DVD by Rob Bell entitled "Noise." It involved a hefty set of "words for thought" on why we fill our lives with so much *unnecessary* stress and, well, noise. Lots of soul searching last night in our den full of moving boxes....and then this morning, this:

"Stress merely indicates an area of our life where our flesh is still on the throne. The life that is totally submitted to God is marked by the trust born out of a thankful heart."

Whew. That cold feeling spreads in, the one that you get when you realize you're wrong and Someone Else is really right. Deep breath. OK. Got it, Father. Thanks for the time-out. Please help me as I relinquish it all over to You.

Sorry for the sporadicalness

2006-03-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

(And, yes, "sporadicalness" is indeed a word. Check the dictionary.)

I have been here and there, in and out, up and down....hence, the lack of regular posts. Bear with me, though, and I will be back to normal in no time. (At least till baby number 2 is born....after that, I can't promise anything, once again.)

I have been so busy buying supplies, gathering and packing boxes, changing addresses, talking to realtors and attorneys (oh, and mortgagors), cleaning, and taking my daily sanity pills that the computer is sometimes the last thing on my list for the day. I am taking some time out today to post, though, just for fun (and therapy of sorts).

I can't believe we'll be in another house in seven short days. Thanks to Suzanne and Ken's mom, I have finally decided on paint colors, the biggest piece missing from my current puzzle.

In other news, the estimate to have all of the wallpaper removed was a bit too much to swallow ($1,000). Whoa! So, we've decided to tackle it ourselves. If anyone has any removal advice, feel free to share it.

This house is repaired and in tip-top shape, after an entire day yesterday of hearing hammering, drilling, and banging around. Please pray that the realtor's 2nd walk-through will prove positive. I cannot handle any more drama!!

More later....

So....what did I do last night?

2006-03-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

Take three guesses. You'll probably never guess where I was sitting last night, right next to my Dad....in full Scottish garb (him...not I).

Dad treated me to a concert/performance of the Black Watch and the Band of the Welsh Guards. (Lanna.....you probably would have loved it.) That's right....hundreds or thousands of people packed into a stadium to hear bagpipes in harmony, to witness the exquisite pagentry of costume of the whole troope. All that, plus I was able to meet some of the drumsmen in the lobby, as well as purchase their latest debuted CD.

You feel like one big family when you are approached by strangers of all kinds from the time you walk into the door, asking you "Excuse me....what clan are you from?" It's like all other cultural and social boundaries are temporarily thrown out the window....the gathering of everyone with this one trait in common to hear the sounds that we love so dearly performed live....now that's a great evening.

(Dad...thanks so much for this wonderful show. It took my mind off of the craziness which currently surrounds me, and it allowed me to break away into a historical, fantastical, and timeless environment which was like cool water on a scorching day.)

Here is the "drum solo," though it's a bit difficult to see.
Was named, "Pogo's Tribute" as a memorial to a former member of their battalion who was killed in the line of duty in Iraq last year.

And here we are with two of the drumsmen.

And below, two photos of one of the Highland dancers preparing for and performing the Scottish Sword Dance. (Yes....real mean wear kilts. And yes, real men also dance.)

Reality

2006-03-09T08:14:00.000-05:00

I have moved so many times in my life, it's not even funny. This fact is mainly because my dad was a seminary student, then a pastor, and then a military chaplain. I know what it's like to live in tiny, cinderblock houses....big, historic houses....quaint brick houses....modest apartments....and even military transit houses (barracks from WWII is what they really were). All in all, I think I moved close to ten times before I turned 22.

Because of this, I was familiar with many things:
- The new-factory smell of off-white newspaper print used to wrap fragile items...that smell permeates a house
- The lack of sleep you get the last night in your home before leaving
- The experience of driving down the interstate, looking behind you to see your entire life being strung along within a huge moving truck
- The pain felt leaving old friends behind (even childhood friends were dear friends)
- The excitement and nervousness felt when you make a brand new friend
- The familiar sight of those little moving stickers that are placed on every box, every piece of furniture (some of which I still find lurking underneath tables and chairs in my own house now)

So, being familiar with the entire process, you'd think I'd be okay with the sight of boxes quickly filling my surroundings, taking over my normal living space. I'm not. It's something you don't ever quite get used to....your heart never grows cold to seeing everything you own be stuffed into corrugated cardboard and stacked miles high. Even before becoming transient, you feel transient....and it's a feeling like no other. A feeling I'd like Gardner to have to experience as few times in his life as possible.

I never thought I was one who accepted change well, but the more I live, the more I realize that's not true. All of my moves have made me into an extremely adaptable person, and Ken even pointed out to me the other day that I'm more open to change than he is. (Wow. That's kind of like a husband admitting he's wrong and she's right. Well....not quite. But it was still a shocking realization.)

I am thankful for my ability to "go with the flow." But let me assure you....all is not as calm and serene on the inside as it may appear on the outside. My stomach is still in knots when I think about those few days in limbo between houses. My heart still aches when I think that I will be leaving behind the house we first brought Gardner into as a three-day old newborn. Part of me will always worry and wonder about these neighborhood cats we've come to adopt outside.

This is harder than I thought it'd be.

(On another note, Ken and I finally watched the movie "Crash" last night. (So what if we're a little behind on the current times?) If you can possibly overlook all of the four-letter words in this film, I give you one three-letter word to sum it up: WOW. Now that's a movie that makes you think.)

Sometimes I want to hide

2006-03-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

When the world seems as if all is evil and everybody has ulterior motives, I just want to run and hide. When people fail or disappoint, or take personal jabs against me, I just want to be tucked away and held close.

When life is so uncertain, as it is right now for us, I just want to escape. (Miami sounds rather nice at the moment.)

We are (once again) in a huge real estate battle, namely with the buyer's agent. Nasty words have flown towards us (in emails, not in person....said person is evidently too cowardly to say these things out loud), and I spent the better part of yesterday in tears, doubts abounding. What if this is all called off? What will we do then?

I must remember that God is for us. I must remember to PRAY, taking it to the Lord before I get frazzled. I must also remember that my Father told me I can rest and hide in Him whenever I need to.

I remember this praise song from years and years ago, hearing it blare from Mom's stereo almost every day, as it was on one of her favorite compilations. I remember singing it in church, and then in youth group. Now I find myself singing it to Gardner as I rock him before bedtime. Why, oh why, don't I remember to recall it (or even sing it) when life truly does get rocky?

"You are my hiding place....
You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid
I will trust in You....I will trust in You
Let the weak say
I am strong
In the strength of the Lord...."
(1981, Maranatha Music)

"You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." (Psalm 32:7)

Clean

2006-03-06T14:49:00.000-05:00

So, Gardner and I bathed the cats today.

And here are our two semi-courageous felines, who battled against me in the bathtub (but lost). I escaped with only a tiny scratch on my wrist.

Note their expressions. It's as if they were muttering, "If you DARE take a photo of me like this, I'll....."

Here is Odyssey. She was the more obstinate one today, which is not usual. She fled immediately to a sunny spot after the ordeal.

Here is Ajala, our "angry child." (For those of you who know us and know her, betcha didn't know she was that skinny, did you?)

Too busy isn't good

2006-03-05T08:08:00.000-05:00

It's good to stay busy; keeps one from getting bored. But too busy isn't good for you....or your pocketbook.

I am having to throw away two and a half pounds of chicken this morning that I totally forgot was in my fridge. Since all poultry safety food laws state that you should keep chicken no more than 2 days once buying it (unless you freeze it, which I forgot to do), I follwed the rule and tossed it. "If in doubt, throw it out," Mom always said. I know the phrase...it's just hard to do it when you can see the price label right there on the front showing you how much you paid for the stuff.

All of the busyness was not in vain, however. Yesterday, some friends and I hosted a yard sale, and we came out rather nicely, I'd say. I was having my doubts at 6:30 am when the temperature outside was only 29 degrees F. Yet it was a constant stream of people from 7am till1:30pm, and we were so amazed at the turnout (and purchase quantities!). Hooray for yard sale profits, and an even bigger hooray for not having to lug any junk home with you afterwards! (The no-sales went straight to a charity.)

That was my weekend (so far) in a nutshell. Gardner and I are both stuck inside (again) this Sunday morning. His respiratory thing is back with a vengeance....I can't wipe his nose fast enough, nor find any medication that helps him feel better. Not to mention I'm embarrassed to be seen thanks to a hefty dose of UV rays yesterday that left my face and hands looking like one big cherry fruit-roll-up.....

Pleasure, then pain

2006-03-03T07:22:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went and met up with my good friend Judith to bask in the experience of my very first salon pedicure. I have been running from the thought of it all these years because I have VERY ticklish feet and wasn't sure how badly I'd embarrass myself (she had the same theory about it that I did, actually). All in all, it wasn't that bad. I only chuckled once (when they used the pumice stone on my heels), but the complete massaging chair I was sitting in far made up for it. Let me just say that as the pregnancy progresses (and as my feet feel fuller and heavier), I will be back for another round.

This morning, I'm up at the crack of dawn so I can go have my prenatal bloodwork done. A 30-minutes waiting time and four vials of blood later, I can return home to cry like a baby. :) Not really. (But in all seriousness, making us make our own appointments for this thing is really, really cruel. It's like the ultimate lesson in self-motivation.)

Don't leave me, spring!

2006-03-02T08:50:00.000-05:00

Let me just say that March has entered like a lion....windy, yes, but oh so warm! Yesterday's high was around 75 degrees! Gardner and I spent 75% of our day outdoors. We ran, we played catch, we got on the swings, we went for a long walk, we even ate lunch AND dinner outdoors (Ken's always resistant to the idea until we've done it, then he asks, "Why don't we eat outside more often!?").

Today promises the same, and so I'm about to head out once again to enjoy the bounty of early spring. My daffodils are blooming out front, and the sun is shining brightly.

I'm looking forward to today.

I just have this sneaking suspicion that this burst of warm air is short-lived, and that we'll experience winter's last fury by month's end, maybe even with some snow. I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts.

(***Side note....I turned on the television last night and, lo and behold, Karate Kid II was on. Oh. My. Word. One of my favorite all-time movies. As I watched it, however, I realized that the acting is at best sub-par, and the story line somewhat lacking. I guess it was just the fact that it's about all my 11-year-old brain could wrap around, as well as the fact that my vision of good film was clouded by the face of Ralph Macchio all those years ago. Still, it is a great movie.)

Awkward

2006-03-01T13:00:00.000-05:00

I have been away from home most of the day already, staying clear of the inspectors which swarmed our house like ants. I'm not kidding; I came home just to drop off some groceries and they were everywhere, it seemed. Although they assured me I could stay, after meeting the future owner of our house (awkward meeting that always is), I did my best to get back out of here. Gardner and I ended up goofing off until about 5 minutes before they packed up and left. Once again, my house is quiet and calm, although I feel as if it has been strip-searched and prodded until it has no shred of dignity left.

Perhaps I take home inspections way too personally. I just feel weird knowing that people are in my house running every single appliance, crawling behind my toilets, turning on every faucet, turning on every lightswitch, crawling around my baseboards, and inspecting every sheet of siding on the outside for holes, termites, or mildew. It is necessary, I know, yet it seems terribly nosy.

Maybe the owner felt as awkward as I did this morning, feeling like an intruder in this house which isn't quite his yet. I could sense it when I shook his shaky hand, clammy and weak. I couldn't stick around and make it more difficult for both of us....I had to leave.

I know what's done is done, but please offer up a quick prayer for the outcome of this, if you could. Granted, a house that was built pre-1940 is sure to have some flaws, but we just don't want anything to make the buyer want to back out of the deal at this far along in the game. I hope we'll hear back sooner than later.

Ta-ta for now. I have mucho things to do now that I'm back within these four walls once again!

"No man (or woman) is a failure who has friends"

2006-02-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

So, I owe a gigantic thank you out to everybody who helped make my 28th birthday so much fun and so memorable. From the early morning breakfast in bed and thoughtful gift from my better half, to the phone calls and e-cards I received all day long (and one "singing telegram" from within a minivan), to the lovely lunch my awesome girlfriends prepared and brought over, to the great, fun-filled evening I had with Mom, Dad, Emily, Rick and the girls.... Thank you, all of you. I am so much in awe.

Today is just a day to revel in the memories of yesterday, as well as clean up a little and get our life back on track. Yes, real life beckons once again, and we have two home inspections this week to plan for, as well as numerous other tasks. I feel ready to handle it now, though, after all of the greatness that filled my Monday.

View more photos of the day here.

Kudos

2006-02-27T09:21:00.000-05:00

Kudos to the best husband on the planet. Even though he spent the better part of his night tossing and turning due to the dreaded head cold that Gardner and I passed onto him (with weird dreams to boot), he still got up at 7am to prepare me a birthday breakfast in bed. :)

I don't deserve a guy like him. But I'm sure glad God gave him to me anyway. :)

Who'd want this?

2006-02-26T09:13:00.000-05:00

Ken and I have been going through every single nook and cranny in our house in order to find items we no longer need or should keep so we can clear it out before our move. Our rule is one that everybody's heard: "If you haven't used it in a year, and you have no future plans for it (i.e., saving it for your children), throw it out." Tough rule, but it's resulted in a mega pile of stuff so far compared to the piddly pile we had a few years ago when we attempted a yard sale, foolishly, wasting our time.

We have pulled out old Barbie dolls, GI Joes, records, diaries, school notebooks, college dormitory bedspreads, toothbrush cups, and even halloween costumes. Why, oh why, has so much of this useless muck followed us this far? I am ashamed to admit that there are actually boxes in our attic still taped up, all of which is junk we haven't laid eyes on (much less given a thought to) since our first move in 2001. We are both sentamentalists, and we're both packrats.

We wonder which items to toss into the trash pile, and which ones to try to sell. "Ken, nobody's gonna want that 1976 toilet lid cover," I might remark. "Yes, they will, if somebody's dumb enough to pay money for your no-armed, no-legged, permanent-penned Barbie." He looks at it a second time. "Actually, that's not even a real Barbie. That's a cheap imitation." (Names and objects have been changed for literary humor and to respect the privacy of said objects. This is merely an overexaggeration of our pursuits.)

All that to say, one man's trash truly is another man's treasure. My friends stare wide-eyed at me whenever we go yard saleing together. I might get an elevated blood pressure when I spot something like a lonely three-hole punch sitting underneath a table. You'd think I would have just found a buried safe straight from Fort Knox, the way I rush over to it and cling it to my chest in victory. It's all about the thrill of finally finding something you've been looking for, and finding it at a bargain.

So maybe somebody will indeed come along and buy my half-empty boxes of acrylic nails from high school. Or that Diaper Depot. We'll just have to wait and see.

2006-02-23T12:09:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to Karla, one of the planet's coolest people.

ENJOY your day, Karla!!

We love you!

It's official

2006-02-22T07:27:00.000-05:00

I've been in hiding for the past 24 hours.... Well, not really. But I did take a break from the computer except for mass emails and trips to various webpages as we sealed the deal. Yes, that's right, it's official. We sold our house yesterday morning by signing a contract....for the exact amount of money we'd prayed that God would let us have out of it. Praying specifically.....wow.....it works.

Anyone who's bought or sold homes knows how much you have to do in such a very short amount of time. Our time is even more limited than usual; we close on both houses in exactly a month. This calls for putting our noses to the grindstone and no rest for the weary, yet it will be so much fun along the way.

We're still in a state of mild shock, seeing as we never expected to have a contract on our house in less than 30 days.

Lots to do. Better get started on my day.

The reality of it all

2006-02-20T07:49:00.000-05:00

I sit here, completely in disbelief that one week from today, I will turn 28.

Yes, it's true; this isn't 30. Yet 28 is a mere 2 years from 30, and that means it's so close I can smell it.

I must ask....where has the time gone? I tried my best not to squander my years, yet it seems as if the past ten have been an absolute blur. It still feels like yesterday when I used to come home from school in second grade, throwing my lunchbox onto the counter and shedding my backpack.

"I want to be 22," I told Mom many times. "Why 22?" she would ask. It probably did sound completely random to other people when I said this. "Because that's how old Miss Schultz is, our teacher's aide, and I love her. She's so cool. She is done with college, and she's still young and pretty. I can't wait to be 22." "Don't wish your life away," Mom said to me, for the upteenth time in my little life. I nodded, but I don't know if that truly sunk in as it should have.

I remember my 22nd birthday vividly. I was engaged to be married, and in my senior year of college. I stopped suddenly that day when it hit me: "I'm finally 22." Did I feel as perfect as I pictured Miss Schultz to be? Not quite. I had all the things she had, plus a husband-to-be, yet I didn't feel as if I'd "arrived."

Now I'm approaching the mark that most people (especially women) dread. I'm not scared of it. In fact, I am embracing it. I count it a privilege that God has seen fit to give me 28 years on this planet, and I count daily the blessings he has given me. I am so "rich" at 28, and I realize that full well when I stand back and survey all the people around me that I love and who love me.

I told Ken once that I would never dye my hair to cover up any gray that threatens to show one of these years. I want to grow old naturally, yet gracefully. See, beauty and youth come from within. I use people like Dad for inspiration, who is in his late 50s yet still runs for exercise and loves to hike. I don't think age should hold you down. In fact, some people remark that their life BEGINS at 30. I would like to be one of those people.

I pledge again, here and now, not to wish my life away. Mom's words of wisdom still echo within my heart. They are true....so true....and as important as remembering that it's not wise to live entirely in the past, either. God gives us each day to cherish, and every day brings new, wonderful things with it.

I am so grateful for this upcoming 28. And I will still hold this smile on my face, stubbornly, as I watch 29 and then 30 come my way.

You scream, I scream

2006-02-17T13:22:00.000-05:00

We just got back from a quick jaunt for ice cream at our neighborhood Brusters. Oh, man. Some of the best ice cream known to man, I will say. The only thing is that Baskin Robbins still has them beat big time when it comes to mint chocolate chip.

It is warm again today, and I am going to take advantage of this weather and go outside and wash my Jeep inside and out. I want to make it sparkle and shine, even if they're forecasting freezing rain (yes, that's right) most of this coming weekend. Ugh.

There's nothing quite like having a clean car, Armor-All-ed inside till it squeaks, vacuumed with precision, Windexed, Rain-Xed, and polished. Add a full tank of gas to that and a clean oil filter, and you have yourself a good feeling deep down inside. It's the kind of car that makes you want to go out for an old-fashioned "Sunday drive." (Waxing would definitely top it all off, but that's a whole lot of work. Maybe later.)

Every car I've had has been used, yet I still baby them and treat them with utmost care. When you take the best care you can of what you have, it makes contentment easier to come by. I can still remember the crazy looks I got from people driving by as I'd spend an entire Saturday morning washing, polishing, and detailing my 1977 sky blue Chevette I drove in high school. I didn't care. Even though it wasn't a brand new vehicle (far, far from it), I cared enough about it not to let dust and dirt mar its surface. It was all I had, and I was grateful for it. That car will always hold a special place in my heart.

So, excuse me now as I go outside and baby this Jeep of mine (which, by the way, my darling husband gave up for me when we began our family....it was too hard to put a baby in and out of the backseat of a 2-door Honda).

Thank You, God, that I can be thankful for everything, even the littlest things. And thank You for small pleasures, such as a 62-degree day in the middle of February.

Waiting

2006-02-16T08:55:00.000-05:00

We are still in the waiting phase of our house-selling process. A couple looked at it last weekend and came back for a second viewing Monday night. This is usually a great thing; it means they're getting more serious. The problem is that the man loves it, yet the woman has reservations about the storage space. I hope that she will realize in time that all houses built before 1950 have a shortage on storage capabilities. It was a lesson I had to learn myself, and something I had to learn to work with if I wanted the romance of living in a historic home.

So, we're waiting to hear back on their decision. Waiting produces strength, and it also forces you to find diversions elsewhere to deflect your attention to something other than the situation at hand.

I am always the last person to get my food whenever we go out with a large group to a restaurant. I'm not joking. Nine times out of ten, I am the absolute LAST person to get my meal, and it's usually because they totally LOST my order entirely. Add to that the fact that I eat insanely slow, and you usually have a group of people who are impatiently staring at me to finish so they can either leave or order dessert.

Waiting for my food isn't so much a problem because I'm so hungry....it's mainly an embarrassment issue. I am sitting there, trying so hard not to look like a pitiful, lost puppy as every one of my friends receives their meals in record time, and I am forced to cling onto my drink of water with lemon for something which can occupy my idle hands. Everybody makes comments like, "Oooohh, Meg, you still don't have your food?" as they shove another forkful of salad or steak into their mouths. I just smile "sweetly" and shake my head.

I'd like to think that I would be getting free meal coupons all over town because of the way the restaurant kitchens have forgotten me so often....but I don't. I usually just get a silly smile, an apology, and then the same treatment as everyone else gets. Yet I don't get mad about this. Life isn't fair; I'm glad it isn't.

When we wait long and hard for something, we, as humans, expect a hefty bonus for our time and trouble. We have a "they owe me" mentality that makes us bitter and resentful. Sometimes we just have to wait. There is nothing over our head flashing "President of the United States" that will push us through the waiting lines at the DMV any faster. We are no better than anyone else; we must wait with the others.

Why do we become so frustrated when God's answer to us is sometimes, "Just wait"? I think it's because we think we're entitled to things as we asked for them, and we're entitled to them RIGHT NOW. God never promised us things on our timetable. Everything He does, even causing us to wait long enough to make us squirm a little bit, is for good reason. We exit the situation a little wiser, a little more patient, a little gentler-minded.

He is so good.

"'I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work' God's decree. 'For as the sky soars high above the earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.'" Isaiah 55:8-9, The Message

Cold picnic

2006-02-15T08:49:00.000-05:00

Last night's celebration was so much fun. The best thing about it was that I didn't really plan anything in stone; I let Ken choose what he wanted to do next and where he wanted to travel next, and we just drove. I showed up at his office with six huge red mylar balloons to embarrass him (it didn't; he was excited). After an antipasto picnic at Falls Park, we went to Fresh Market where I asked Ken to pick out six Joseph Schmidt truffles of his choice, his gift from me.

Then we got coffee (of course). Starbucks jipped me on my coffee size at the pickup window, and for that, I received a voucher for any free drink at my next visit (nice marketing technique, guys). Last of all, we walked around the mall. (Unoriginal, you might think, but we were there to people-watch. You ought to go by and see how many men flock to Victoria's Secret in a panic at 8:30pm on Valentine's Day. Heh heh.)

Anyway, fun times, great memories made. And my iPod playlist of "classic" love songs fit perfectly into our evening as we drove from here to there.

Today promises to be a warmer day, and for that I'm super grateful. Gardner and I both have chapped, red cheeks from the 30-degree and below temps plus strong winds these past few days. It will be nice to once again leave the house again without a barage of coats, hats, gloves, and scarves weighing us down.

So now, I will leave you as I sip and enjoy my cup of Fresh Market's coffee blend, Cafe d'L'Orange. Some things are so delicious you just can't put it into words.

more valentine memories

2006-02-14T13:40:00.000-05:00

I believe my Val. Day post last year dealt with things I remembered about Valentines past. I wanted to reminisce a little more this year, mainly for my own sake, to get these memoirs down on "paper" and help them stick around for a long time.

I remember the candies I would find in my stash of school Valentines later that afternoon every year. Oh, you could always expect the usual "conversation hearts," those chalky little nuggets of which 40% of the colors taste exactly like Pepto-Bismol. (Ugh.) Never was a big fan of those, although they were fun to read, at least. I remember the foil-covered hearts made of sub-par chocolate with crisp rice studded within. And my all-time favorite, I must say, were those cherry-flavored heart suckers. I would love to lick off the white "paint" on the front first, coating my tongue with its whiteness, even though I had no idea what that substance was or what it truly tasted like (do kids really care about that stuff?)

I remember how Mom and Dad always gave Emily and I something on that special day, showing us that it was about all kinds of love....we didn't have to wait until we had a boyfriend (or husband) to enjoy the little gifts and surprises that everyone else enjoyed. I loved that, too, they showed their love for us all year round; we didn't need a holiday to prove to us our parents cared about and were thankful for us.

I remembered this morning, too, the wonderfully practical gift that Ken gave me in February 2002....a locking security fire box. Now, don't pity me....I had actually asked him for this particular gift, seeing as I was going through a highly organizational stage in life and simply couldn't sleep until I knew that our house closing documents and birth certificates and social security cards were safely tucked away under lock and key.

What I discovered as I opened that gift was that Ken always finds some way to surprise me nonetheless....inside the box was an envelope holding a printed reservation for a Gary Smalley marriage conference that I'd been wanting to attend with him. Awwww....

What are some of your favorite Valentine's Day memories, either from childhood or today? I'd love to hear about them.....

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2006-02-14T08:45:00.000-05:00

So, today has already started off with a bang! And not in a positive way, either, but we can still laugh about it all!

It began with me opening a bag of Hershey's Kissables candy for Gardner to let him have a piece after breakfast. Over zealous, I opened it rapidly and with more strength than actually needed. Tens of pieces of multi-colored kisses flew all over our dining room, skipping and rolling along the hardwood floors. Gardner laughed, I screamed, the cats had a blast chasing them all.

Next, I had to page Ken at the gym to come home for an emergency of sorts. Our fridge's ice maker has been on the fritz lately, not wanting to refill the ice cube tray or empty it out. This morning, I happened to be standing there to hear the water suddenly click on. I opened the door to watch....it worked again! It filled up the ice tray....and then it proceeded to CONTINUE filling it until the contents overran the sides and began to trickle down onto my frozen foods. It kept coming. I grabbed cups, towels...nothing helped contain the spillage. Within three minutes, water was pouring out of the exterior ice dispenser on the door and puddling all over our kitchen floor. Ken got there just in time....he remedied it temporarily by cutting off the main water valve behind the fridge. At least it's pacified for now, for a time when we can later get it fixed once and for all (but not on Valentine's Day).

All that to say, it's been a wild one so far.

Preparations....check!

2006-02-13T14:09:00.000-05:00

I'm making early preparations today for the special evening I have planned for my sweet husband on Valentine's Day. :) All is coming together nicely.

I have also taken on the task of reorganizing and cleaning out my cabinets (the ones that store food), and I threw away a bagful of things that were old or that I knew I'd never use. I felt a little guilty until I saw how pristine and straight everything looks inside of the cabinets now. You can finally open them without bags of dried beans falling out onto your head....or worse, a can of soup onto your toes.

We had a bitterly cold weekend. I am one of those people who could probably relocate to South Florida and be perfectly happy year-round. I don't even have to have cold weather to make my Christmases feel "Christmas-y." I think it's a lack of adequate body insulation, to be blunt, but the mere fact is that any temperature below 55 degrees makes me clam up and hibernate. When I go outside, it's even worse....the air hitting me is like a thousand daggers piercing my body. I get emotionally violent if I am made to stay outside in it without my approval. Add wind to the day, and you have yourself one unhappy redhead. I will just take my 78-degree balminess, thank you, with a lemonade on the side.

Speaking of basking in the sun, I am SO cold natured that I take an extra towel when I am at the beach to cover up with if I start to feel chilly in the air off of the ocean. The only thing that would make this whole predicament less lopsided is if I didn't have fair skin, meaning that more than 10 minutes in any sunlight or partial sunlight, and I'm an official scarlet beet. They don't make SPFs high enough for me.

I have no idea how, but I've done it again....begun the day's post with one idea and ended up on a total opposite one. Sigh. I guess that's how my life has seemed lately....flighty and unpredictable. Not that it's a bad thing. I needed to loosen up a little.

(Bonus....my frank opinion o' the day: Whoever thought that GOUCHOS and DENIM VESTS should come back into style for women's wear this spring should be hung upside down by their toenails. No one with thick ankles like me wants to wear pants that draw attention to said part of the body....and I must say that ladies' vests were one of the absolutely worst parts of the early 1990s. I should know; I had several of them myself. There. I've said my peace.)

Movie mania

2006-02-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

Since Ken has been working mucho overtime this week to prepare for the new building's first services tomorrow, I've been catching up on movies and books. I must say that the guilt-free abandonment I feel when I sit down to watch a movie of my choice entirely (even if the house isn't perfectly tidy) is a little bit fun. Add a bowl of ice cream or olive-oiled popcorn to the mix, and you have one great evening.

I began watching De-Lovely, which I was all excited about (it was the life story of Cole Porter). Fifteen minutes into the movie, however, I realized that the underlying subject matter wasn't something I wanted to fill my mind with, so I stopped it (angrily). On to something else.

I ended up watching Spanglish, a weird (very weird) photograph of "real life." (Although, it was more or less a hyper-exaggerated view of real life....or else, not the life I've ever lived or known anyone else personally who lived it). Funny, sarcastic, painfully accurate, and even a little bitter. I have never had such mixed feelings after a movie ended about whether I loved it or HATED it. And I'm being honest about that.

Last night, I watched a movie long-standing on my "films to watch" list: Man on Fire. Denzel Washington has always been a favorite of mine, and the cinematography is outstanding. It's very long, somewhat violent, a tad bit disturbing, and utterly heartbreaking....but I think everyone should see this movie.

I have one more I haven't watched yet: Suddenly Last Summer. An older one, it stars Katharine Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor. Taylor witnesses the murder of her brother and has psychiatric flashbacks which plague her. Her mother (Hepburn) insists that her daughter is delusional, but eventually has to face the reality that her son was indeed killed in such a manner as she describes so horrifically. Both of them won awards for this flick, and it is one of the movies KH made that I haven't actually seen yet (my life goal is to see ALL of her films). So, maybe I will find time for that one sometime this weekend, as well.

Well, I've got to run finishing cleaning up the house. We have more interested people coming through this morning to tour! I am so thrilled. Maybe THIS will be it.

It's like I said

2006-02-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

I think the whole island on LOST will turn against itself, and everyone will slowly kill everybody else off. One will remain, but he/she may still have a mortal wound which leaves only minutes to do a final monologue before the final curtain closes.

Sorry. Last night's show just made me start thinking. It also eerily reminded me of that episode of The Twilight Zone (the early version) where a spaceship appears over a small suburban community. One by one, neighbors start blaming other neighbors for being the alien among them, and by the end, they're all fighting amongst and destroying themselves. I truly hope that LOST writers don't follow this same predictable storyline. I've seen it way too many times (namely in school required reading).

Speaking of reading, I'm heading to the library this morning to pick up a couple of more books. Hopefully one of them will hold my attention enough for me to complete it. I have been flighty with books lately. What I really need is to focus on these four non-fiction books that I desperately need to finish, but the fictional stories never fail to beckon to me and, like mythological sirens, lead me off course.

After all, what fun is life without a little bit of spontaneous diversion off of the "should be" path, making sure morals remain intact, of course? :) I think that life without storytelling would be unromantic and boring.

And speaking of romance, I am currently scheming up what I will plan for Ken and I as I whisk him away on Valentine's evening. Plans are in the works, but not finalized yet. He knows I'm working on something, but he doesn't know what yet. This is so much fun.

Now that I've jumped from subject to subject like a grasshopper on wet grass, I will leave. Maybe I'll be more streamlined in my thoughts tomorrow.

Comfort and joy

2006-02-08T13:39:00.000-05:00

I am feeling somewhat discouraged today, and so I reached out for God's Word again and let its words speak to my heart. This is what I read. Same paragraphs, new meaning.

"'Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
Blessed are you when men hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.
Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.'"
(The Beatitudes, Luke 6 : 20b - 23)

Taxes

2006-02-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

Let me officially say that I dread January for another reason.....taxes.

Ken and I have always done our own taxes. This is due to the fact that we don't want to spend money to ask someone to do it for us, but it's mainly the fact that I'm stubborn and headstrong and want to do it all by myself.

Well, at least aided by the pseudo-wonder program called TurboTax.

I just finished up our federal taxes last night, and today, I begin state. Thanks to everyone along the way who's given me advice and answered questions here and there. Even though our taxes were a ton more complicated this year due to certain factors not present before, I was able to figure it all out in the long run and did not even once consider giving up.

I remember the simple days....back when I had my first little money-paying job. I wondered, like everybody has said, who this person called "Fica" was and why he wanted so much out of my paychecks. Yet at the end of the year, when I got that unexpected $62 dollar refund, I was ecstatic. Now I could finally buy that box CD set I'd been eyeing. (That was tons of money to a 16-year-old.....remember? I felt like a millionaire. I felt as if all the wrongs had been righted, even if "Fica" did manage to clamp tightly to a few dollars at the end of it all.)

Let me also say that I'm thankful that I am not a multi-business owner. Working in tax law, all I did was file new businesses with the IRS and compute the end-of-the-year tax computations. Ouch. Too many numbers (negative ones), and way too many forms tagged onto the end. I'll just take my Schedule A and C, thank you.

To make the season all the more humorous, and when I get bogged down in a problem I just can't seem to remedy, I seek out internet humor. This particular e-card has become my favorite by far.

Enjoy, and good luck with your taxes this year.

The five senses

2006-02-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

Already today, I've:

1. Seen the most beautiful sight....videos from Rome, Italy as Katie Couric visits and has a personal invitation from Giada de Laurentis' family for an 8-course family feast. Those images only made me pine for Europe that much stronger.

2. Smelled the most wonderful smell....the smell of snow. It is only sleeting here, and they don't predict it to stick, nor for actual snow to make it down to the ground. Yet I can smell the smell of snow, though it still resides miles above my head. It's a dry smell, a clean smell.

3. Tasted something that made me think that it was mid-July instead of early February: a homemade strawberry scone made with imported strawberries. Yes, these berries were shipped here from the opposite side of the U.S., but they truly do taste like the peak of the season. Mmm.....

4. Heard it again....those January birds in the trees. Earlier than usual; maybe the weather patterns are making them confused. I marveled at them as everyone else walked around, bundled tightly and set on course, seemingly unaware of the beauty surrounding them.

5. Felt a wave of surprise as someone actually held the door open for me and Gardner at the post office this morning. It's a rarity, sad to say, and when it does happen, I take note of it and let it make my day.

(p.s. I also SAW the weirdest sight I think I've seen in quite a while. Did anyone know that Roseanne Barr was doing songs for kids now? I saw a glimpse of it this morning, and OH MY. Let's just say that Gardner won't be watching that.....mainly because I can't stomach it. :)

Look

2006-02-02T11:02:00.000-05:00

Check out Ken's new blog design. And on it, his snippet of the opener for this week's sermon, the last one in our church's current building.

He's been working a LOT this week, which makes for a wife and 16-month-old missing him very badly. But thank goodness these times ebb and flow, and I'm so thankful he is one of those people who actually ADORES his job. :)

I didn't know what to do with myself last night, with no LOST to watch and all. What's up with that? They love to play mind games.

Instead, I spent the evening on iTunes making a mammoth list of songs and albums I pine for. The list was two things: 1) very long (longer than I'd predicted), and 2) very, very varied (which didn't surprise me).

Let's just say that I had everything from Dolly Parton (don't ask) to Brian McKnight to Sheryl Crow to Cream. I think I covered all the bases.

Why, oh, why, do I have to be so spread out in my musical tastes? When people ask me what I like to listen to, I blubber and stutter. Way too deep to delve into. You don't EVEN want to know.

I don't think I like this game....can I quit playing?

2006-02-01T09:02:00.000-05:00

The real estate game, I mean.

First showing went well. So well, we received an offer within an hour.

Don't clap yet. The individual actually offended me as a proud housekeeper by offering close to $20,000 less than our asking price. What?

We're currently in the counter-offer battle, and I have a feeling it will end today, probably without either of us winning. But time will tell, and we may be surprised yet.

I had a feeling that things would get sticky, I just didn't expect it so soon. You think after buying and selling three two previous houses I'd be used to this process, but I'm not. It still makes me squirm.

So that's that.

It's finally February, and I'm so glad. It feels great to be one step closer to springtime.

January

2006-01-31T07:59:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, January is probably close to being my least favorite month of the year, except for the fact that it's right before February (i.e., Valentine's Day) and it also has my grandmother's birthday at the end of it.

There just seems to be an unending stream of gray, dreary, bitterly cold days in January, and for that reason (combined with the post-Christmas letdown so common now), I would just rather skip it and go on into red-and-pink month.

Yet there is this one thing that I absolutely love about January. ....this little part of nature, the world outside, that makes me still love this particular month. Every afternoon, about 4:00 or maybe a little later, there comes a swarm of mystery birds out of hiding. They perch high in the tops of certain trees, where they proceed to not just sing, but....how do I say it.....screech? No, that sounds like it would be offensive to the ear. It is not chortling like a robin does, but it is not as ear-piercing as a hawk or other large bird. It is the sound of thousands and thousands of these birds calling back and forth to one another, and I think it's beautiful.

I can remember the first time I noticed it. We had just moved to this state, and I was 12 years old at the time. My sister (4) and I used to stay outside from the time school let out until dinner was ready, even in the cold weather. While in the backyard, suddenly these choruses of birds would all flock into a spindly tree, making the entire top waver with their sudden weight. They would skwawk and sing almost madly, and I marveled at the sound, having never heard it in Louisiana, where we'd moved from.

Yesterday, Gardner and I saw these flocks firsthand as we chose to take a long walk at this time of day. It was so intriguing to both of us, actually, that we stopped right there and listened for a while. The birds noticed the company they'd beckoned and began to play with us, swooping rather low and darting all around. Gardner looked up wide-eyed, and slowly his two hands opened and reached up over his head, as if he might be lucky enough to touch the tip of their feathers as they zoomed by us.

It was a perfect moment.

Now, if anyone could enlighten me as to what kind of birds these might be, I'd be really grateful.

In the meantime, if you can steal away from whatever you're doing today at 4:30pm or so (and if you live in the Southeast), sneak outside and listen. You might hear it, too, the strangely compelling "song" of a thousand January birds in unison.

Busy weekend

2006-01-29T21:22:00.000-05:00

Ken and I spent the weekend catching up on lost time. That is, actually enjoying ourselves and friends, as well as family. We also got some more work done on the house, and got the leaves out of our yard (thanks to his dad's mac-daddy John Deere mower and bagger).

Flyers flew....out of our for-sale sign info box, that is. We started out with 30 last week....we're down to less than five. Great news. Now...if we can just get some visitors from them.

We have our first "looker" tomorrow morning. The hard part is that they called and said "anywhere between 9:30 and 11am." Do they know what that means when you have a toddler? That means your entire life gets shifted around and turned topsy-turvy. I keep reminding myself that this first one may be "THE one," though, and that makes it all worth the trouble.

Right now I'm debating what to do before bed. I want to go to bed NOW, but I'm afraid that I can't. I ate too many cookies with milk, and I hurt. I hurt BADLY. My stomach is filled beyond its capacity, and it's never been happier and angrier at the same time as it is right now. I'm guessing the only thing that will remedy this would be a brisk jog around the neighborhood, but I'm pregnant, tired, and it's probably 30-some-odd degrees out there. Nah.

Excuse the brevity of this post, but most importantly, excuse the randomness. It's just one of those days.
More later....

"Four Things" Meme

2006-01-26T09:24:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Ken for this fun diversion for the day.

Four jobs I've had:

1. Cashier and hostess at Butterbean's, a local meat-and-three restaurant
2. Ladies and lingerie department associate at Upton's department store
3. Nanny to three (rich, bratty) kids for the summer after my freshman year in college
4. Legal assistant in a large law firm, specializing in the areas of tax and corporate law

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Garden State (one of my newest favorites)
2. Steel Magnolias (when I need a "good cry," whatever in the heck that's supposed to mean!)
3. Jesus of Nazareth
4. Holiday (with Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant)

Four places I've lived:

1. Greensboro, N.C.
2. Fuquay-Varina, N.C.
3. Ft. Polk, LA
4. Clemson, S.C.

Four T.V. shows I love:

1. LOST
2. The Cosby Show
3. Mad About You
4. Three's Company

Four places I've vacationed:

1. Galveston Island, TX
2. Outer Banks, NC
3. Daytona Beach, FL
4. Wilmington, NC

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Spaghetti with my mom's sauce
2. Buttermilk pancakes with real maple syrup
3. Cappellini Pomodoro
4. Authentic Cajun gumbo

Four sites I visit daily:

1. The Weather Channel
2. AVClub
3. Cooking Light
4. Blogger (heh)

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1. Showbiz Pizza (like it USED to be before Chuck E. Cheese took over)
2. San Diego Zoo
3. Anywhere in Japan
4. Revisiting our honeymoon destination, the New England states

Four bloggers I'm tagging for this meme:

1. Emily
2. Whitley
3. Sara
4. Kelly

My house smells like acetone

2006-01-25T09:01:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday was a perfect day. Splendid, I mean, in every way. That is, until I began rushing around at 5:20pm to get ready to go to a "spa night" with some friends of mine.

Clumsily, I grabbed seven bottles of nail polish and carried them into my tiled bathroom. In slow motion, a bottle of lilac plummetted from my fingers and landed on the tile....glass shattered, lilac splatters going everywhere.

Long story short, I was able to clean it off of my shoes....my velveteen pants (brand new)? Well, the color's out, but a stiffness remains to the fabric. My bathroom rug was ruined (thank goodness I was planning on replacing it anyway after we moved). So was an ivory-colored hand towel that I stupidly used in an instant to wipe up the mess, the panic of the episode temporarily rendering me inable to make wise decisions.

I cleaned the floor, my pants, and the grout within my tile with acetone. I scrubbed and scrubbed. I tossed the soaked towel and the tried-to-be-salvaged rug into the washer. When we walked in last night, the scent of acetone nearly knocked us over. When Ken got up this morning to get in the shower, just the quick opening and shutting of our bathroom door sent waves of acetone-laden fragrance all around our bedroom.

That thing they put on the bottle about the remover being "freesia" scented, I don't get. I don't smell freesia anywhere in there.

Ten on Tuesday

2006-01-24T12:31:00.000-05:00

I'm not one for these weekly games on my blog, but I just couldn't resist this time around.

I'm giving you my top 10 favorite things right now. Think of me as Oprah, except for the fact that I'm considered just a middle class citizen AND the fact that I can't afford to buy all of you readers every one of these things to take home with you after the show.

Enjoy nonetheless. Maybe it will inspire you to try something new.

MEG'S TOP TEN FAVORITE THINGS ON THE PLANET (RIGHT NOW)

10. A book entitled "A Writer's Book of Days." Ken gave it to me for Christmas this year. It's a book chock-full of writing prompts. Not cheesy, off-the-wall, romance-novel-resembling topics, but deep, makes-you-really-think topics. There's a topic per day, plus inspiration for the whole week. It's my new nightcap.

9. Hallmark stores.....all of them. Everything inside of them. I can get lost, I mean physically and mentally lost, amid those rows of greeting cards and sentimental schmooze. I try to avoid it while at the mall if I have a strict schedule to keep.

8. Abuelita. It's a new little drink I heard about that's like hot chocolate on steroids (or just a more elegant form of hot chocolate). It means "Little" or "Dear Grandmother" in Spanish, and it's simply a brick of chocolate with Mexican cinnamon. Blended with hot milk, it froths up coffeeshop-style and really delivers. Once hard to find, my neighborhood Publix now keeps it in stock.

7. And while on the subject of chocolate....a guy named Joseph Schmidt and the wonderful confectionary company he started up in San Francisco. I have a box sitting here that was a mail-order surprise from a dear friend of mine, and I'm just waiting to open it until I decide which one to try first. I fell in love with this brand of truffles in 1996, and we've been going steady ever since.

6. My iPod Nano. I know I talk about this gadget about so much that it is starting to become my 3rd child, but still. I was on an "Quit bugging me, I am just one of those people who'd NEVER use an iPod" tirade last year, and when I finally got one, I don't know how it isn't growing out of my palm by now. It goes with me everywhere, and Ken outfitted it with a snazzy magenta case that makes it more toteable without scratching it as much.

5. My local library. I am the type of person who can start a book and decide to stop reading it ten minutes in. I just refuse to be bored, humiliated, or worst of all, appalled by the words on the pages. If I bought every book which sounded good from the inside flap, we'd be in major debt with Books-a-Million right now. The great thing about the library is that I can check out five or so novels, and my chances are pretty good for holding on to one of them and actually enjoying it.

4. My new French bagutte pan from Kitchen Emporium. Thanks to my wonderful brother-and-sister-in-law, I had some money to spend there after the holidays, and I bought this, something I've been wanting for a long while. Now my french baguettes (when I feel up to making them, that is) can be round and crisp instead of flat and squishy like a slug.

3. My stay-at-home socks. I bought these for a gift and then hid them SO well that I lost them. When I cleaned out my closet recently, they unsurfaced, and....surprise, Meg! You have yourself a brand new pair of pale pink pampering socks. When you slide them onto your feet, you'd swear that ten million tiny dandilions (or chinchillas, whichever analogy you prefer) are caressing your toes. They're that great.

2. My Crabtree & Evelyn lamp ring oil. When my pregnancy nose gets the best of me, it wants to smell fresh smells.....not musky, not perfumy, just fresh and light. Two tiny drops in my lamp ring and my entire house smells like a meadow. Much better than rooms sprays, and no kids wheezing or cats scattering to escape the mist.

1. (CUE the sentimental music.) My husband, son, and baby-to-be-born. These guys will always be favorites. I just don't know how I'd live without them.

Hard sight to see

2006-01-24T10:46:00.000-05:00

As glad as I am to have it finally official, it sure is hard seeing that "for sale" sign in front of our house, right on the corner by the road.

It was a rainy, dreary day yesterday (that description doesn't really do it justice), and it was nearly dusk when the big red truck showed up with our sign in the back. I sat on the loveseat limply and watched as they staked it into the grass, placing advertising pamphlets in the info box, wiping off the debris and extra water, and driving off, leaving its blue and white starkness evident in twilight's gray hues.

Funny how you wish for something and hope for something...even dream for something....but the moment it starts to happen (or at least the moment you take a step forward), you get a split second case of cold feet. We're still moving, don't get me wrong....we are simply out of room (or will be once baby arrives). It's just harder than I thought it'd be. Even though this is the fourth house we've lived in and left behind in our five-and-a-half years of marriage, it still doesn't get any easier with practice.

On another note, I just got back from my 1st of the 3 trips I make to Wal-Mart each year. Wasn't too bad today, except for the fact that I still have to go to Target for a couple of items. But still, you can't beat their prices on yeast and yogurt, and of course, they are the only store around here that carries Watkins Double-Strength Vanilla, my personal alibi when baking.

They'll be here shortly to take panoramic photos of our house, so I need to go straighten up. That will be my chore for the next some-odd months, I guess, seeing as they could call at any moment and ask to show it to a potential buyer.
Ah, the joys of home buying and selling.

Not much to write today....

2006-01-23T09:46:00.000-05:00

....Today started off on a bit of a bad note, and I'm sort of uninspired to write anything this morning.

Perhaps I will feel more up to it later on....or most definitely, tomorrow.

I'll be back soon....

Date night

2006-01-21T19:44:00.000-05:00

Ken and I dined at a small yet elegant Italian restaurant last night. We waited 40 minutes for a table. We waited 5 minutes to get our drinks. We waited 10 more to get our bread. We finally got our food soonafter, and oh, my....it was, in a word, DI-viiiine.

We sit. We chat. We smile. We watch the others dining near us. We look at our watch. We start to wonder whether or not we can still make it to the showing of the movie we want to see, let alone have time for a stop at Starbucks. We smile again. We discuss past friends, past houses, past cars. In the peak of these nostalgic conversations, Ken suddenly looks over at me.

"Do you know who I REALLY miss?" he asked me simply.

"No. Who?"

(Pause.) "Our waitress."

We burst into laughter, making the others near us nervously glance downward and behind themselves to see why the clatter.

I'm so glad we still have so much fun together. That will never end, as long as either of us has anything to do with it.

(I'm also glad God gave both of us the ability to laugh when we're frustrated. That is a highly marketable and desirable trait.)

I had to read it twice

2006-01-20T12:43:00.000-05:00

So, I was in a local bookstore yesterday, just passing time. I stopped and looked at the kids' "special interest/education" section. I found a book that I pulled out because it had a cutesy and interesting title. In it, there were a series of cartoon images of a cat and rabbit having a conversation. About what, you ask? Heaven. Whether or not it exists. Where it is.

It went something like this:

"Do you think there's a heaven up there?"
"Um, I think so."
"Do you think I will go there one day?"
"I don't know. Tell you what. If you go, then I'm sure I'm going, too."

I paraphrased, of course, but this was the basic synopsis of this book meant for small children. Did this clear anything up? Nope. In fact, I don't see why this wouldn't confuse a small child even more.

It's more and more evident how much people are desperately searching for truth and for hope.

Things I think would be so much fun....and more

2006-01-19T07:41:00.000-05:00

- To have a "Phantom of the Opera"-themed party. Fancy hors d'ouvres, music from the score, and everybody donning a masquerade of their choosing. The artistry, the artistry.....

- To be the person who names paint chip colors. I think I've said it before, on a topic of "dream jobs" on this blog....but still. It never ceases to come to mind when I think this way. I, the adjective-loving-fool that I am, would feel right at home in this profession.

- To be able to communicate with a monkey or gorilla using sign language. I have no idea what you'd actually say once you were faced with him or her (hey...how're those bananas today?...), but still, it'd be really neato.

- To design my own clothing line. Not the off-the-top Paris runway fashions that, in any Smalltown, USA, would make traffic stop and people stare. I'm talking about just everyday GOOD clothes. Fits to a T, colors that accentuate and not detract, fabrics that don't shrink sideways.

Things I Want to Do In My Lifetime:

- Go see something at the Metropolitan Opera....about anything would settle.

- Try to snowboard. (But only if I outgrow this phase of being shivery cold when it's 60 degrees outside. Otherwise, I think I'd give up early.)

- Write a book.

- Open or buy my own coffeeshop.

- Go to Japan...just to visit.

- Get to hold a koala bear in my arms.....just once.

(I don't know what spurred this on today. Nonetheless, I will delight in the randomness and attribute it to a sudden burst of inspiration.....from where, I have no idea. It's really too early in the morning for it.)

Anxious about nothing....harder than it sounds

2006-01-18T12:53:00.000-05:00

The more we look into this particular house we're interested in, the more questions arise. Will she take our offer? Does she like us, enough to let us purchase her house full of memories? (It is for sale by owner, in case you didn't know.) Can we find enough furniture to fill it? Will our current house be able to sell in time to move in before the baby's born? Will we have time to do the interior improvements before baby, too? Are there too many stairs in this house (for toddlers, I mean)? Will anybody come see us anymore since we'll be a little farther out?

These floodgates of "what ifs" have opened, and I intend to stop them.

If this is the house that God intended us to inhabit, then He will allow the doors to open so that we can walk right into the foyer and call it home. If we are supposed to raise our two kids there, from now on up through the time they leave for college, then it will happen. If we are supposed to sell this house soon, it will sell....the perfect buyer will come along and adore it, just like I did three years ago.

I sometimes feel as if I'm jinxing something that could possibly be very good by thinking so many negative thoughts about the barriers to that happy ending I so crave.

There is absolutely nothing I can do to help this house sell. I can bake cookies right before it's shown, so the aroma can fill the nostrils of the passers-through and make them linger. I can most definitely keep it clean and tidy, and Ken can easily spruce it up to make it in tip-top shape. Yet I can't force anyone's hand to sign the dotted line.

And I can't force the owner of this prospective house to like us. I can't force her to leave this house if deep down she wants to hang onto it. I can't rush the process of moving in, and I can't have it the way I want it with just the snap of a finger.

This will all take time. And most importantly, it will take an act of God. We get so busy with the piddly things that we neglect to see how big His hand is, how much He's got in His grasp already. He begs us to let go so He can take up the slack, so He can haul the load.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." (Philippians 4:6-7, MSG)

"If GOD doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks. If GOD doesn't guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?" (Psalm 127:1-2, MSG)

Thankful for downtime

2006-01-17T11:19:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had plans. I had plans to do oh-so-many things after I put Gardner to bed at 7. I was so excited about getting a head start on my task list for today.

Suddenly, though, at 7:05pm, it hit me. I was TIRED. Not just a little tired....but wiped OUT. 100%, totally fatigued. It was hard to even walk I was so tired. Part of this can be explained by first trimester stuff, but it was mainly due to the fact that I'd not slept well the night before and I had done way too much during the afternoon and early evening. I was paying for it.

So, I did something uncharacteristic for me....VERY uncharacteristic for me. I put on my pajamas before 7:30 and I crawled into bed. I sat and read for a long time in the Bible, passages that I love to read over and over and never tire of, ever. I read it leisurely, not with an intended purpose of checking off my to-do list, or even to find some deep, hidden meaning within its words. I simply let God's Word speak softly to me, and I listened.

Then I fit my iPod earbuds in my ears and began to catch up on the podcasts on which I have been SO behind. I did not move a muscle, except to adjust the volume every now and then. I laid there. I stared at the ceiling. My black cat cuddled up with me and went to sleep. It was NICE.

I ended up going to "bed" at regular time, but not before I had that very important span of down time. I needed that. Everybody needs that sometimes. To forget what dishes are piled in the kitchen and forget what bills need to be sent out tomorrow. Just to relish in the moment of being. Just to be STILL.

Do you need to be still today? It's tough, I know. But it's so worth it.

Today has been GREAT, and I owe much of that to my allowing all clocks to, in my mind, cease existence in my world for a few hours the night before.

Funny how....

2006-01-15T10:34:00.000-05:00

....the very moment you announce outloud (even if it's just to your spouse or your mom) that you're going to put your house on the market, things start to fall apart.

It's almost as if your house KNOWS what you're about to do to it. It's retaliating by giving you numerous, sudden handyman jobs to undertake.

Case in point: I walked in last night to see this sight in my closet (see left). Now, you have to understand. I've used this closet for three years. I've hung the exact same amount of stuff on these racks ever since we moved in. Most amazingly, I even cleaned out this closet recently and got rid of things I didn't wear anymore, which would obviously lessen the weight on its support braces. There was just no good reason why the braces would have worked loose and fallen three feet to the floor NOW, without warning.

You see what I mean. It's like the house has feelings.

Time to read it

2006-01-13T08:08:00.000-05:00

So....I've been hearing SO many things about this particular Christian author/speaker named John Piper. He's not a sugarcoated man, that's for sure. I hear quotes left and right from his mouth every week. I have to admit that I figured he was one of those bandwagons that everybody jumps on for a while and then slowly falls back off of.....so, I didn't put too much emphasis on him when it came to my "books to read" list.

I just found out this week, though, that he's been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Suddenly that book he wrote called "Don't Waste Your Life", which is sitting to my left right now, takes on a whole new meaning.

Hm. What he writes, he practices.....or at least, he will have to now. Hm. I think I will finally pick it up today and start reading. My Southern fiction anthology can wait till later.

"January thaw"

2006-01-12T07:31:00.000-05:00

So, we're having very unseasonable temperatures this week where we live. Mom said the official name of it is the "January thaw," and it often happens annually. I guess it's something I forget about from one year to the next.....because it always takes me by surprise and makes me giddy.

I woke up to the sound of birds chortling outside our window at 6:30 am. I swear, I had to remind myself that it was still the dead of winter and not mid-April by the way they sung so sweetly. I love it, I really do. I hate it that the little birds have to go through this confusing part of the winter every year, though. Both them and my tea bushes, with blossoms bursting already, have no idea that we still have a good chance of snow or ice again before Old Man Winter is done with us.

Still, I cannot believe it's January 12th and I am going to dress for a 70-degree day. I have loaded up my iPod and I'm ready to head outside....to do anything....go anywhere. I don't know.

And to top it all off, last night's "Lost" episode absolutely rocked my face off. It was one of those episodes which made you say, "I think I am in this series for the long haul. I'm addicted now, if I wasn't before." It's the kind of episode which makes you set a clock immediately afterward which will countdown until next week's show airs.

It's been a good week.

Baby's first photo

2006-01-10T18:26:00.000-05:00

Here is a photo of Gardner's new sibling:

Baby Wilson

Books.....a dilemma

2006-01-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

So, I am a lover of books. Anybody that's known me anywhere from age, oh, seven up until now knows that. By far my biggest "book phase" was in late elementary school into middle school. At a time when nothing else filled my free time but homework, every second I had open was spent with my nose stuck within the pages of a book.

I have read all genres. I started out loving the classics....A Cricket in Times Square. Stuart Little. Strawberry Girl. The Little House series. I began to develop a weird fascination with death when I hit my preteen years, and so I read those cheesy groups of paperbacks about young teenagers who were battling cancer (I believe the titles were something to the effect of, "Six Months to Live"). I got into the whole Babysitters Club club....picking my favorite character and trying so hard to be like her in real life.

Then came the years of having no time to read except that which was required of us for school. I was introduced to The Great Gatsby, Lost Horizons, and A Tale of Two Cities. I loved some, hated some. Some inspired me.....some appalled and disturbed me. Yet I knew that I had to read even the undesirable plots lest I receive a bad grade that semester. You just can't fudge those pop quizzes; I tried my hardest.

In college, our reading choice horizon grew. We could actually pick an author or theme and focus on it, just as long as we wrote a 30-page dissertation on the underlying symbolism or application to current events. I was fascinated with Nathaniel Hawthorne, and so I did an entire solo semester on a project using his works. I even made sure I went to see his grave when we traveled to New England shortly after graduation.

Here's my quandry. I'm an adult now. No one to tell me what to read. No one to give me grades on how much I absorb afterwards. And.....no one but myself to govern the morality of the lines on the pages.....to screen which books I will accept and which ones are trash and better left on the shelves.

I am in the middle of a book.....a secular book with religious undertones (but most certainly not a religious publisher). I will refrain from giving the title, but let's just say that I am at the point where I have to decide whether to keep reading or stop. Why? Because there is an inference that a marital affair might happen. My conscience (and every part of my guilt-tendencies) screams, "No! No! No!" The literary conniseur part of me speculates that I should read it for artistic merit alone, enjoying it for what it does have (exceptional word imagery and incredible use of the almighty adjective).

What is a Christian to do? Do we shield ourselves from all things "pagan" and cease all reading of things which are not either blatantly God-glorifying OR generic and humdrum..... Or do we read out of the box sometimes so we won't become such separatists that we become self-righteous?

This is something I've struggled with for a very long time. I would appreciate your thoughts.

Bad Music

2006-01-09T08:09:00.000-05:00

I have been on iTunes a lot this weekend, just passing time by downloading some songs I've been wanting. In the process, I stumbled across many a song which made me literally shudder when I read the title, or if I didn't recognize it, when I played the sample clip. ("Oh....THAT song. Uggghhh.....")

Let's have some fun today with bad music. Feel free to answer these questions in my comment secition, or post your answers on your own blog (please leave me a link).

1. Name three songs that never fail to make you change the station.
- "Photograph" by Nickelback
- "Gold Digger" by Kanye West
- Anything....anything.....by Gloria Estefan

2. Name three artists that you wished you'd never heard.
- Eminem
- Rob Thomas
- Ashlee Simpson

3. Name three albums that you wished you'd never bought after getting them home.
- "A Rush of Blood to the Head" - Coldplay
- Swing Praise (sounded like a good idea.....maybe?....but it most certainly was NOT)
- "It's Time" - Michael Buble (love the voice, hate the poorly-chosen covers)

Game Night at the Wilsons'

2006-01-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

Ken and I decided to ban television-oriented entertainment and instead run to the old-fashioned manner of amusement....a family game night. We broke open Ken's new box of Monopoly and dealt, rolled, and betted our way into a frenzy.

Oh, my goodness. Funny how when you don't play a game like this in, oh, fifteen years, you forget the roles (as in, "I have no remaining shred of memory regarding how to play this game"....none of this, "I think I can remember... let's just remember as we go.")

Also, funny how you don't realize how intensely competitive you are until you get head to head with your opponent....namely, your beloved spouse. We started off feeling sorry for each other whenever we had to hand over rent or payments. By the end, we were slapping dollar bills to keep from throwing them, and obscene (well, not really) comments could be heard muttered from our mouths, ever so subtly.

What a great way to spend an evening. What a great way to test a marriage.

Tomorrow....another round? Or perhaps Star Wars RISK?

(Link to Ken's writeup about the skirmish: here
Link to Ken's other photos of the battle: here)

(Currently playing in iTunes: "Hung Up" - Madonna)
(I'm sorry, but she's one of the best artists and has been for a long time. I can't stay away. Must....buy....must.....listen.....)

To the immature guy behind me in traffic today

2006-01-05T11:07:00.000-05:00

I don't know exactly who you are, where you were going, or why you were so late for whatever it is you were going to do. I don't know what kind of upbringing you had, what kind of parental relationship you've left behind, what kind of husband or boyfriend you are, or what kind of father you are (if you are one). I don't know what you ate last night, and I don't know why you chose what you chose to wear today that was evidently making you itch in inappropriate places. I don't know why you are close to 35 years old but yet you chose to act this morning as if you were a newly hatched 17-year-old behind the wheel.

I stopped to turn into a drive which is so narrow that only one car can come in and out at a time (why, I've always wondered....I always envisioned a problem). There was a car sitting there waiting to come out, and so I stopped to let him out in front of me so I could then turn in. (Note: My turn signal WAS on.) I was intentionally being nice, as I try to be, and I was sure that the people behind me would understand (after all, it was a four-lane road, and there was room to pass me).

You, however, did not think that I had any I.Q. whatsoever, and you proceeded to show your lack thereof, as well, by blaring on your horn five times longly and loudly. You made everybody stop and look, you made my son turn around in his carseat to view the mayhem. I looked at you in my rearview mirror and said, "Huh?"

Why you didn't just go ahead and pass me? I don't know. There was time....there was room. I guess you just wanted to win this fight somehow, and you were determined to use your intimidating Japanese car horn to cause me to flee the road a nervous wreck, apologizing profusely.

Five seconds later, you tore around me, going zero to forty before you reached the front end of my car. I caught a view of some hand motions, but then I turned back to the car waiting to get out. The waiting car's occupant looked at me, smiled weirdly, and pulled on out. I pulled on in.

Sorry you are evidently having such a terrible Thursday. Mine happens to be great.

I will pray for you today.

Link from a link

2006-01-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

So, I heard about this link that was on Joshua's blog yesterday. Absolutely amazing, though not 100% accurate, it takes an uploaded photo of yourself (or anyone else) and matches you to the celebrities who most resemble you. Try it.

Mine came back with everything from Audrey Hepburn to Hillary Duff. I don't know whether to be honored, laugh, or cry.