A paralyzing fear
Last night we had an unexpected (and unexplained) power outage, mainly just on our street (or so it looked from what we could view from our front porch). We heard a loud pop, as if a transformer had blown nearby, and then pitch black nothingness. It being a cloudy and rainy night, the city's lights reflecting off of the clouds did help to shed a subtle greyish ora to things, enough so that we could navigate toward the kitchen to grab our flashlights and light some candles.
It brought me back to my childhood, when storms would routinely knock out the power due to poorly constructed power line systems or, in Louisiana, due to flooding rains (never understood how that caused it, nor could we understand how a state simply did not have the ability to create functional drainage systems). I was not afraid of the dark, but I was terrified if I was suddenly alone in my room with no lights at all, when seconds earlier I had had my lights on and music playing.
As we climbed into bed near midnight last night, the power being out for two hours already, fear began to grip me. It held tightly and would not let go, clutching at my throat and making it difficult for me to breathe. It brought back recollections of panic attacks that frequently visited me a few years back....and I did not like the feeling one bit.
I could tell it was Satan who was causing me to fret and worry....I worried about why the power was of...whether someone might try to break in our home while it was out....I worried about all of the chicken I had in the refrigerator, hoping it would not spoil....I worried about Gardner getting cold with no heat running.....
I finally turned to my husband in the darkness and asked him to pray over me. He did, and instantly that fear left me, like a brick that was lifted from my shoulders. The words spoken to our Father in heaven sent evil's legions scurrying, giving me peace and tranquility as I laid there, so tense and unnerved.
This morning brings bright sunshine and a wonderful March-like breeze (gale, really). No recollections of last night's episodes resound in nature today. And I have happily put aside the memories of the fear that bound my heart, as well, for whatever reason it was there in the first place.
I feel as if spiritual warfare is raging even stronger now on my home and family, but I am so thankful that we have Christ's ammunition to stop it in its tracks. The closer we get to God, the closer evil seems to be to our heels, threatening to trip us and make us flail and falter. Yet that is the time to press on harder, to reach out further to grasp Jesus's cloak's tassels. He has all we need to overcome; He HAS overcome. Why trust our own merit or ability? Or why pretend that we don't need Him? I realize more and more each day how very much I do need Him. It takes instances like last night to impress further in my mind that I do.
Thank You, God, for gentle reminders that You are still here with me, and that You are all-sufficient and all-powerful.
It brought me back to my childhood, when storms would routinely knock out the power due to poorly constructed power line systems or, in Louisiana, due to flooding rains (never understood how that caused it, nor could we understand how a state simply did not have the ability to create functional drainage systems). I was not afraid of the dark, but I was terrified if I was suddenly alone in my room with no lights at all, when seconds earlier I had had my lights on and music playing.
As we climbed into bed near midnight last night, the power being out for two hours already, fear began to grip me. It held tightly and would not let go, clutching at my throat and making it difficult for me to breathe. It brought back recollections of panic attacks that frequently visited me a few years back....and I did not like the feeling one bit.
I could tell it was Satan who was causing me to fret and worry....I worried about why the power was of...whether someone might try to break in our home while it was out....I worried about all of the chicken I had in the refrigerator, hoping it would not spoil....I worried about Gardner getting cold with no heat running.....
I finally turned to my husband in the darkness and asked him to pray over me. He did, and instantly that fear left me, like a brick that was lifted from my shoulders. The words spoken to our Father in heaven sent evil's legions scurrying, giving me peace and tranquility as I laid there, so tense and unnerved.
This morning brings bright sunshine and a wonderful March-like breeze (gale, really). No recollections of last night's episodes resound in nature today. And I have happily put aside the memories of the fear that bound my heart, as well, for whatever reason it was there in the first place.
I feel as if spiritual warfare is raging even stronger now on my home and family, but I am so thankful that we have Christ's ammunition to stop it in its tracks. The closer we get to God, the closer evil seems to be to our heels, threatening to trip us and make us flail and falter. Yet that is the time to press on harder, to reach out further to grasp Jesus's cloak's tassels. He has all we need to overcome; He HAS overcome. Why trust our own merit or ability? Or why pretend that we don't need Him? I realize more and more each day how very much I do need Him. It takes instances like last night to impress further in my mind that I do.
Thank You, God, for gentle reminders that You are still here with me, and that You are all-sufficient and all-powerful.
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