I Corinthians 13, Part II of II
"Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now." (I Corinthians 13:12, NLT)
This verse follows the verse about childishness. Both verses spotlight my life three-and-a-half years ago, when we were relocated to Columbia through Ken's job. It was right after September 11th that we received news of us having to make a choice of whether to stay here (and be laid off) or move 140 miles away from all things familiar. The hardest pill to swallow was that we couldn't tell a soul; it was top secret except for company employees. We had to go an entire month seeing our families and friends but not being able to share with them the burden we carried.
I questioned God then more than I ever questioned Him in my entire life. I asked Him, "Why?" along with the rest of the nation after we were targets of terrorism on that Tuesday morning. And then my own battles....why was I plagued with depressive thoughts....why did we have to move....why did I have to quit a job and leave a church that I loved so dearly?
Blindly, we followed with faith the path laid out for us....or so we thought. We heard no audible "go" or "stay" from the Lord. We had a literal 24-hour-period to decide whether we were going to accept the new position....and we pleaded with Him for a pie-in-the-sky sort of sign to show us we were doing the right thing. Nothing. I was desperate for His voice.
I did not know that I would not hear His voice for many months after that. Our new life in a new city was void....so we filled it as best we could, aimlessly pursuing worldly pleasures. Dining out, office parties, elaborate gift-buying (for others AND ourselves), more. Nothing filled, nothing satisfied. We still came home to an empty shell of a house with heavy, homesick hearts.
Life became close to unbearable, and it seemed to be crumbling away at our marriage, as well. We hit rock bottom in the early fall of 2002. That's when God seemed to reappear....although He'd been there all along (which I will get to later). His hand was visible as He steered us back home to our original stomping grounds....and here we are today.
Now that we look back on those tumultous 2 years, we see an amazing time of teaching and faith-building. A true refining fire, if you will....one which we both needed for maturity. We thought that moving away and being "on our own" would be a great opportunity to learn to become more self-reliant....but our pseudo-self-reliance backfired on us, and we ended up having to learn to be 100% God-reliant instead. We see how God carried us over so many imminent dangers and pitfalls....I'm so thankful He did. No telling where we would be now if He had given up on us.
So, looking back, we see the complete picture. We have finally come to the point where we can actually thank God for those trials....though it may sound strange....because of how much better we are for going through them. We see now "everything with perfect clairty."
And how neat....one day in heaven, at the end of our earthly lives, we will see it ALL with even greater clarity....how that span of 2 years was just one tiny morsel of all He did to work in our lives from the first time we breathed air until the last day we exhaled.
God pleads, "Trust Me. Even if you can't see Me, trust Me. Even when you can't go on (or think you cannot), trust Me. Even when you only see fragments, trust Me to see the whole picture. Trust."
This verse follows the verse about childishness. Both verses spotlight my life three-and-a-half years ago, when we were relocated to Columbia through Ken's job. It was right after September 11th that we received news of us having to make a choice of whether to stay here (and be laid off) or move 140 miles away from all things familiar. The hardest pill to swallow was that we couldn't tell a soul; it was top secret except for company employees. We had to go an entire month seeing our families and friends but not being able to share with them the burden we carried.
I questioned God then more than I ever questioned Him in my entire life. I asked Him, "Why?" along with the rest of the nation after we were targets of terrorism on that Tuesday morning. And then my own battles....why was I plagued with depressive thoughts....why did we have to move....why did I have to quit a job and leave a church that I loved so dearly?
Blindly, we followed with faith the path laid out for us....or so we thought. We heard no audible "go" or "stay" from the Lord. We had a literal 24-hour-period to decide whether we were going to accept the new position....and we pleaded with Him for a pie-in-the-sky sort of sign to show us we were doing the right thing. Nothing. I was desperate for His voice.
I did not know that I would not hear His voice for many months after that. Our new life in a new city was void....so we filled it as best we could, aimlessly pursuing worldly pleasures. Dining out, office parties, elaborate gift-buying (for others AND ourselves), more. Nothing filled, nothing satisfied. We still came home to an empty shell of a house with heavy, homesick hearts.
Life became close to unbearable, and it seemed to be crumbling away at our marriage, as well. We hit rock bottom in the early fall of 2002. That's when God seemed to reappear....although He'd been there all along (which I will get to later). His hand was visible as He steered us back home to our original stomping grounds....and here we are today.
Now that we look back on those tumultous 2 years, we see an amazing time of teaching and faith-building. A true refining fire, if you will....one which we both needed for maturity. We thought that moving away and being "on our own" would be a great opportunity to learn to become more self-reliant....but our pseudo-self-reliance backfired on us, and we ended up having to learn to be 100% God-reliant instead. We see how God carried us over so many imminent dangers and pitfalls....I'm so thankful He did. No telling where we would be now if He had given up on us.
So, looking back, we see the complete picture. We have finally come to the point where we can actually thank God for those trials....though it may sound strange....because of how much better we are for going through them. We see now "everything with perfect clairty."
And how neat....one day in heaven, at the end of our earthly lives, we will see it ALL with even greater clarity....how that span of 2 years was just one tiny morsel of all He did to work in our lives from the first time we breathed air until the last day we exhaled.
God pleads, "Trust Me. Even if you can't see Me, trust Me. Even when you can't go on (or think you cannot), trust Me. Even when you only see fragments, trust Me to see the whole picture. Trust."
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