"Let's agree to disagree without being disagreeable."
The quote above was printed out with a dot-matrix printer and hung across the top of the whiteboard in my high school speech and debate classroom. Mrs. Robertson, our teacher, probably spouted off that phrase every single day, interspersing it with other random comments such as why grapefruit diets don't work (she was a perpetual dieter, and we all heard about her trials yearlong).
Last night's home group lesson/discussion was on the topic of conflict. It is a word that energizes a handful of us.....and exhausts the rest of us. Extroverted people tend to run to conflict, loving to act as a mediator or as a debate overseer. Introverts (such as myself) gravitate to a corner, turning our heads the other way when we see conflict in action.
What does the Bible say about conflict? Well, it is true that to be alive is to have conflict. We are humans, all with varying tastes, interests, and opinions (oh, do we have opinions!). This means that we are going to inevitably clash at one point or another with another person or group. Whether it be a simple childhood argument as to who is going to swing first on the playground, or a full-fledged argument about creation vs. evolution, conflict is all around us. Jesus saw conflict every day. I mean, people even fought about HIM.....He created a stir wherever He went.
The Bible is clear on one thing: Go to the person with whom you have a problem, not to everyone else. It's so easy to flock to people who are there to offer a shoulder on which to cry. It's also easy to find others who will fuel our fires and help us justify our hatred. Yet God commands us to go to that person, that person with whom we are at odds, to resolve it then and there. We are not to even let a day go by without resolution! (Ephesians 4:26)
Some of us pretend conflict does not exist. This means that our eyes are tightly shut and we are a little unwilling to be a realist and accept the truth. Some of us duck out of conflict out of fear. Others of us seek conflict out, picking fights with whoever whenever we can. I believe that all of these are extremes that we should avoid at all costs. The healthy outlook is to realize that conflict is there, recognize it when it occurs, and to Biblically handle it the way God intended us to handle it.
One thing is for sure.....resentment and bitterness are sins. We cannot enjoy full fellowship and oneness with the Lord if we are holding a grudge or harboring resentment toward another person. The Lord commands us to go right then and set it straight, then come back and worship Him. (Matthew 5:23-24) Then we can experience full, pure, and unbroken fellowship that will make our hearts sing.
When Jesus drives something home to you through His Word, don’t try to evade it. If you do, you will become a religious impostor. Examine the things you tend simply to shrug your shoulders about, and where you have refused to be obedient, and you will know why you are not growing spiritually. As Jesus said, "First . . . go . . . ." Even at the risk of being thought of as fanatical, you must obey what God tells you. (Oswald Chambers; My Utmost for His Highest)
Last night's home group lesson/discussion was on the topic of conflict. It is a word that energizes a handful of us.....and exhausts the rest of us. Extroverted people tend to run to conflict, loving to act as a mediator or as a debate overseer. Introverts (such as myself) gravitate to a corner, turning our heads the other way when we see conflict in action.
What does the Bible say about conflict? Well, it is true that to be alive is to have conflict. We are humans, all with varying tastes, interests, and opinions (oh, do we have opinions!). This means that we are going to inevitably clash at one point or another with another person or group. Whether it be a simple childhood argument as to who is going to swing first on the playground, or a full-fledged argument about creation vs. evolution, conflict is all around us. Jesus saw conflict every day. I mean, people even fought about HIM.....He created a stir wherever He went.
The Bible is clear on one thing: Go to the person with whom you have a problem, not to everyone else. It's so easy to flock to people who are there to offer a shoulder on which to cry. It's also easy to find others who will fuel our fires and help us justify our hatred. Yet God commands us to go to that person, that person with whom we are at odds, to resolve it then and there. We are not to even let a day go by without resolution! (Ephesians 4:26)
Some of us pretend conflict does not exist. This means that our eyes are tightly shut and we are a little unwilling to be a realist and accept the truth. Some of us duck out of conflict out of fear. Others of us seek conflict out, picking fights with whoever whenever we can. I believe that all of these are extremes that we should avoid at all costs. The healthy outlook is to realize that conflict is there, recognize it when it occurs, and to Biblically handle it the way God intended us to handle it.
One thing is for sure.....resentment and bitterness are sins. We cannot enjoy full fellowship and oneness with the Lord if we are holding a grudge or harboring resentment toward another person. The Lord commands us to go right then and set it straight, then come back and worship Him. (Matthew 5:23-24) Then we can experience full, pure, and unbroken fellowship that will make our hearts sing.
When Jesus drives something home to you through His Word, don’t try to evade it. If you do, you will become a religious impostor. Examine the things you tend simply to shrug your shoulders about, and where you have refused to be obedient, and you will know why you are not growing spiritually. As Jesus said, "First . . . go . . . ." Even at the risk of being thought of as fanatical, you must obey what God tells you. (Oswald Chambers; My Utmost for His Highest)
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