Respect
I am going through a Cynthia Heald Bible study for women on how to more powerfully and effectively love their husbands. Frankly, it is kicking my tail. It involves reassurance that I am doing some things right in my marriage to Ken, but more often than that, it is showing me areas in which I am lacking....and spurs me on to change them.
Today's lesson was about respect....what it really means to respect your husband. The cool part is that it can be applied to any other relationship.....within a friendship, child to parent, employee to employer. I love it when God's word is so wonderfully and magnificently applicable to thousands of aspects of life....not just one only.
Our attitude, and thus our actions, convey to others whether or not we respect them. A worker who respects his or her boss will work harder and exude more joy while doing so. A wife who respects her husband will gladly let him lead the family....she has total trust in his abilitites, and has no need to fight for control of the steering wheel. He has earned that respect by not demanding it....but instead, by faithfully seeking God with all his heart, loving her as he should, having a quiet strength instead of harsh superiority.
James Dobson sums it up best....
"The way children behave is an outgrowth of their respect for their parents...and certainly, the way husbands and wives relate is a function of their mutual respect and admiration. That's why marital discord almost always emanates from seething disrespect somewhere in the relationship! That is the bottom line of romantic confrontation."
I have had to reexamine my actions and words. Do they signify that I respect Ken? I am always being watched....especially now by Gardner. My respect for Ken will be obvious to him, and will rub off on him, as well. It is a pity to see kids flagrantly disrespect and disobey their fathers all because they are around their mothers' bad-mouthing their dad all day long.
I remember learning this lesson well, also, when I worked for an employer (in the city we lived in previous to now) that I had a hard time respecting (VERY hard time!). He gave me no reason to respect him. Yet I was called to a higher calling....to be a witness for Christ. Though I found it nearly impossible to actually respect him, I obeyed the tasks he put me to, and I struggled daily to be courteous and helpful. In doing so, perhaps coals were heaped on his head and he realized that I would not compromise my christianity in order to please him or anyone else.
I don't know if he ever even noticed; perhaps I never will know. But I do know that God calls us to be respectful to all authority...it's not just something our parents instilled in us....it is straight from His Word. The only time we are to disobey is if it contradicts what He has laid out in His Word. More often than not, that is not the case....it is merely a test as to how we will accept our roles as employee, child, or spouse. Will we do it all gladly, with a cheerful heart, respect and admiration at the top of our to-do list? Or will be drag our feet, duck our chins, and make ourselves feel better by privately degrading those we don't like?
"Now He commands me to show the same love to others by saying, '. . . love one another as I have loved you' (John 15:12). He is saying, 'I will bring a number of people around you whom you cannot respect, but you must exhibit My love to them, just as I have exhibited it to you.'" (-Oswald Chambers)
Today's lesson was about respect....what it really means to respect your husband. The cool part is that it can be applied to any other relationship.....within a friendship, child to parent, employee to employer. I love it when God's word is so wonderfully and magnificently applicable to thousands of aspects of life....not just one only.
Our attitude, and thus our actions, convey to others whether or not we respect them. A worker who respects his or her boss will work harder and exude more joy while doing so. A wife who respects her husband will gladly let him lead the family....she has total trust in his abilitites, and has no need to fight for control of the steering wheel. He has earned that respect by not demanding it....but instead, by faithfully seeking God with all his heart, loving her as he should, having a quiet strength instead of harsh superiority.
James Dobson sums it up best....
"The way children behave is an outgrowth of their respect for their parents...and certainly, the way husbands and wives relate is a function of their mutual respect and admiration. That's why marital discord almost always emanates from seething disrespect somewhere in the relationship! That is the bottom line of romantic confrontation."
I have had to reexamine my actions and words. Do they signify that I respect Ken? I am always being watched....especially now by Gardner. My respect for Ken will be obvious to him, and will rub off on him, as well. It is a pity to see kids flagrantly disrespect and disobey their fathers all because they are around their mothers' bad-mouthing their dad all day long.
I remember learning this lesson well, also, when I worked for an employer (in the city we lived in previous to now) that I had a hard time respecting (VERY hard time!). He gave me no reason to respect him. Yet I was called to a higher calling....to be a witness for Christ. Though I found it nearly impossible to actually respect him, I obeyed the tasks he put me to, and I struggled daily to be courteous and helpful. In doing so, perhaps coals were heaped on his head and he realized that I would not compromise my christianity in order to please him or anyone else.
I don't know if he ever even noticed; perhaps I never will know. But I do know that God calls us to be respectful to all authority...it's not just something our parents instilled in us....it is straight from His Word. The only time we are to disobey is if it contradicts what He has laid out in His Word. More often than not, that is not the case....it is merely a test as to how we will accept our roles as employee, child, or spouse. Will we do it all gladly, with a cheerful heart, respect and admiration at the top of our to-do list? Or will be drag our feet, duck our chins, and make ourselves feel better by privately degrading those we don't like?
"Now He commands me to show the same love to others by saying, '. . . love one another as I have loved you' (John 15:12). He is saying, 'I will bring a number of people around you whom you cannot respect, but you must exhibit My love to them, just as I have exhibited it to you.'" (-Oswald Chambers)
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