I can't be spontaneous

I just can't be spontaneous.

I've tried.

I've really tried. I tried so hard to be spontaneous for Ken last night.

Now, let me clarify that I can be spontaneous about some things....such as when someone suggests, "Let's go get some ice cream," or "Let's go for a quick walk." But when it comes to things more permanent, well.... Let's just say that you'd think I was making a decision as big as how many children to have, as long and involved as my decision-making process suddenly becomes.

Case in point. Last night, Ken surprised me with the statement, "Pick out something. Anything. Well, under $50. (You know how it is, ladies. If there isn't a price cap, we both know we'll run straight for the diamonds.) I want to treat you to something." He drove me to the nearest mall and we began my search. An hour and half later, we exited the mall, me empty-handed and Ken holding a bag with a new pair of jeans....for HIM.

It's totally my fault. I am just so indecisive when it comes to purchases over, oh, $5. I want to make sure I get the perfect item....the most well-suited item in all the stores in all the world, to be exact. Not gonna happen when the mall closes in an hour. I knew that...but did I suddenly kick into "let's be decisive" mode? Nope. I walked around every single rack, showcase, counter, and shelf, gingerly fingering each item for sale, nodding, scanning, shaking my head ever-so-subtly, moving on. Ken was probably screaming on the inside.

Perhaps I will outgrow this. Or perhaps this will get worse with age.

Kind of like forgetfulness. Haven't I posted about my indecisiveness before? Oh, man. It IS bad.

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