"Wanna go out sometime?"
Tonight, Ken's taking me out on a date. This is meaningful because our dates are so much more cherished now than they used to be. When we went out to eat years ago, it was just going out to eat. Now, it's a big deal. Finding a sitter, choosing a night amid our crazy schedule....it's a real challenge. Yet it is necessary, and so very vital to our marriage and even Gardner's upbringing.
Let me just say that I can still remember dating in the true "dating" sense. I am not that old; it was only 9 years ago that I was there! (Well, with it spelled out, wow. That is a long time. Anyhoo....) I remember so many things about dating, especially a first date. I thought it'd be fun to put together all of the things I don't miss about first dates....but that make all of us laugh (sometimes bitterly) when we face the reality of all of these awkward things. (C'mon. We've all been here.)
-- You must change clothes at least four times just to find the right outfit. Nothing fits exactly like it does on a Sunday morning or school morning. Colors which used to make you glow now make you appear sickly and green. You end up with a pile of clothes behind you, only to go with the first outfit you pulled out of the closet at the beginning.
-- Your hair, no matter what the weather, looks as if it is monsoon season. Hair products might as well have never been invented, because your hair resists them and flat-out refuses to cooperate with them. For once (for girls, anyway), a baseball cap just is not an option.
-- There will always be the roomate, dormmate, sister, brother, or otherwise who will do a once-over of your date to be, give you a look, and do the eyebrow raising thing. This is usually done in the view of your date, making him/her laugh nervously, and you want to melt right into the linoleum.
-- The restaurant choice is easy this time. You're afraid to appear too pushy or too picky, so any choice they offer up is right up your alley, you say....even if it's King Chang's Chicken Giblet Palace. "MMMmmm....I LOVE that place!" you lie. You do a quick mental check to see if you can remember where you store the Pepto in your medicine chest....as well as make sure that "911" is plugged into speed dial on your cell phone.
-- The menu might look appetizing, but you are forced to find the one entree which is: 1) reasonably healthy, so as to not appear totally unaware of your personal health habits, 2) lacking in any messy sauce which requires extra napkins, 3) not the cheapest thing on the menu, but not the most expensive, either, and 4) the right portion so as to fill you up but still force you to leave some on your plate for modesty's sake (with or without your date offering to finish it for you)
-- You rush to the restroom to make sure that there are no pieces of broccoli or parsley in your teeth. If there is, you realize with a pit stomach feeling that you have no floss or toothpick. What else works?....oh, those little plastic pull ties on chewing gum packages do the trick. (How do I know this? I've been there, and I've done that.)
-- There's always that awkward moment at the end of the date. The guys (should) walk the girls to the door. The girls are busy mentally screaming, "He's BETTER not try to kiss me!" The guys are thinking, "I need to get back to see what the score of the big game is."
Feel free to add more comments listing any other first-date (or otherwise) awkward moments. In the crux of these situations, these are very serious. When we're cozy at home and behind our computer screens, they're license for laughter.
Let me just say that I can still remember dating in the true "dating" sense. I am not that old; it was only 9 years ago that I was there! (Well, with it spelled out, wow. That is a long time. Anyhoo....) I remember so many things about dating, especially a first date. I thought it'd be fun to put together all of the things I don't miss about first dates....but that make all of us laugh (sometimes bitterly) when we face the reality of all of these awkward things. (C'mon. We've all been here.)
-- You must change clothes at least four times just to find the right outfit. Nothing fits exactly like it does on a Sunday morning or school morning. Colors which used to make you glow now make you appear sickly and green. You end up with a pile of clothes behind you, only to go with the first outfit you pulled out of the closet at the beginning.
-- Your hair, no matter what the weather, looks as if it is monsoon season. Hair products might as well have never been invented, because your hair resists them and flat-out refuses to cooperate with them. For once (for girls, anyway), a baseball cap just is not an option.
-- There will always be the roomate, dormmate, sister, brother, or otherwise who will do a once-over of your date to be, give you a look, and do the eyebrow raising thing. This is usually done in the view of your date, making him/her laugh nervously, and you want to melt right into the linoleum.
-- The restaurant choice is easy this time. You're afraid to appear too pushy or too picky, so any choice they offer up is right up your alley, you say....even if it's King Chang's Chicken Giblet Palace. "MMMmmm....I LOVE that place!" you lie. You do a quick mental check to see if you can remember where you store the Pepto in your medicine chest....as well as make sure that "911" is plugged into speed dial on your cell phone.
-- The menu might look appetizing, but you are forced to find the one entree which is: 1) reasonably healthy, so as to not appear totally unaware of your personal health habits, 2) lacking in any messy sauce which requires extra napkins, 3) not the cheapest thing on the menu, but not the most expensive, either, and 4) the right portion so as to fill you up but still force you to leave some on your plate for modesty's sake (with or without your date offering to finish it for you)
-- You rush to the restroom to make sure that there are no pieces of broccoli or parsley in your teeth. If there is, you realize with a pit stomach feeling that you have no floss or toothpick. What else works?....oh, those little plastic pull ties on chewing gum packages do the trick. (How do I know this? I've been there, and I've done that.)
-- There's always that awkward moment at the end of the date. The guys (should) walk the girls to the door. The girls are busy mentally screaming, "He's BETTER not try to kiss me!" The guys are thinking, "I need to get back to see what the score of the big game is."
Feel free to add more comments listing any other first-date (or otherwise) awkward moments. In the crux of these situations, these are very serious. When we're cozy at home and behind our computer screens, they're license for laughter.
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